Lonely mummy and toddler

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  • #49799 Report

    Chan
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    To keep it short, i  am feeling super low and depressed. Not really sure why. Lockdown is really hard now. It seems my little girl who is 14 months old seems lonely too. I took her to the park and she tries to talk to other kids but i think gravitates to older kids who can talk and walk because she is quite advanced for her age. whilst she cant talk properly she has been walking for 7 months. They tend to ignore her but she excitedly screams. It makes me so upset. I dont have many mummy friends around here. I arranged a playdate with one for yesterday and today but she let me down. Feel so bad for my baby I cant stop crying today.

    #49802 Report

    Gummibear123
    Blocked

    😂 your on your own with a baby and your lonely that’s why!!! Most normal thing in the world to be miserable about that.Its so hard.She is very young to really need friends however advanced she is with her walking etc and whatever the books will tell you,they honestly do not need ‘friend’s at this age.But you really do unless your gna go potty like me wasting lots of time online😃 Make sure to get out every day! You might well end up meeting the same ppl each day then it’s up to you to be brave and say hello….can you FaceTime or zoom ppl? Do you have any neighbours? A local shop? Just but 1 item of grocery shopping each day if that means you will see ppl.Its no ones business how I shop.You really will go crackers alone all day & that’s a slippery slope u don’t wna go down.Stop feeling bad for your gorgeous 14 month old and concentrate on you!💗

    #49803 Report

    Gummibear123
    Blocked

    Correction: shld say ‘how You shop’.

    #49805 Report

    Lulublue
    Participant

    I wouldn’t cry and feel upset about it at all.
    You said she screams with excitement, that’s a really good sign, with the lockdown world! Older kids will ignore a young child, but she sounds like she’s having a great time interacting with them on her level, even f they ignore her.
    I wouldn’t worry to much…..And I wouldn’t put to much faith in having mummy friends 😉 I’m an older mum 10 years behind my peers and any mum friend I’ve made, doesn’t really  last to long. Most mums put so much pressure on themselves and become competitive in some way, just chill and enjoy the time with your little one….. xx

    #49806 Report

    sirtobi
    Participant

    Hello chan,

    it is a horrible feeling I know. You see what happens and see it as if you are rejected and take it on your chin. Due to family circumstances our youngest one was with me, his father, all day from just under one-year-old. We didn’t have any mummy friends and when we went to the local church coffee shop we weren’t allowed to sit at the play table because it was always occupied by the mummy friends and we did get the stare when we took play stuff to our table. We retreated to the main hall and I brought our own food because what was on offer wasn’t really healthy nor cheap. So they put up a sign, no home-made food in the church main hall to get rid of us. After I had spoken to the vicar about Jesus and the temple merchants in Jerusalem they took the sign down but I kind of sensed we weren’t that welcome. So we found our playground at the local train station where our son became a celebrity over time and was up to lockdown. Every time we visited Bristol Parkway it was like a family reunion. It is hard and it is bitter but be assured the child doesn’t mind that much at that age. Our son is a happy chap with lots of friends now even though we never have been part of a mummy group.

     

    As it was mentioned, look after yourself and see that you have friends “to play” with. That is more important now, when you are feeling that low.

     

    Have a good day and all the best.

    #49816 Report

    Gummibear123
    Blocked

    Oh my.That was really cruel.You must have felt awful.People can be surprisingly nasty sometimes! I’m sorry you and your son had to go through that when you had enough to deal with.Hats off to you,I think I wld have just gone home and cried.

    #49817 Report

    sirtobi
    Participant

    hello Gummibear,

    why not haribo, it’s shorter ;-). I am a tough cookie but that was one time when I was really upset. It dragged on for weeks and went from bad to worse. And one day that sign was on the wall. I just couldn’t believe my eyes. The parallel to the temple story was so obvious and the whole thing so absurd that it indeed hit me hard. That was long before the separation. It was only because his mother was finishing her PHD so I just had to have him all day because I could work at evening/night. But I seemed to be a red flag for the yummy mummies  in the church coffee shop. But it was a good preparation for the upcoming time as a single father. It can be tough as a male when you are with a child and they can’t pity you because you do it right. When you are the organized one and your child is behaving well and nice. I mean on a daily basis. When you are there every day and you actually do stuff with your child and are just a mother with a beard. Some women can be pretty awfull. But as I said, little one and I survived and now he is eleven years old and a happy boy.

    Have a good week.

    #49818 Report

    Gummibear123
    Blocked

    It’s Gummibear -because I would rather be longer than shorter,wouldn’t you? 😉

    I think it unnerves some women to see men doing a good job in the child care dept, maybe they feel obsolete who knows, either that or they get a bit freaked bc -no generalising obv, but most paedophiles are male or something! Did you notice them watching you then quickly glancing at their kids or shifting a bit closer to them.HaHaHa it’s funny.Nah they were probably just some empty headed ladies that lunch,and you were the odd man out.But no need to be SO Rude and unwelcoming!They might have done it if you were female as well. and what about that vicar?! But I think that’s what Chan here is saying.People can just be kinder to each other.Not rocket science really is it???

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