Lonely and missing my girl like crazy

[ChasingHappinessParticipant]

Hi,

I am really struggling at being apart from my daughter. She stays with me four nights a week, and her dad and I have had this arrangement for nearly a year. It’s the best arrangement for her as she gets quality time with us both, but I’m finding it harder now than I have at any other stage. I thought it was meant to get easier with time, not more difficult? She’s way more settled leaving me now and doesn’t cry, so it should be easier for me in theory. I just miss her so much everytime she goes and I feel like my world crumbles. The loneliness and emptiness is debilitating. I always try to keep myself busy on days where I haven’t got her and am rarely at the flat. Trouble is, its just me and her, so when she has to go, it’s just me. And I’m terribly lonely. I hate it. Anybody else finding it equally as tough?

[Anonymous]

Mine is much older, and I still find it tough, so yes, I’m sure there are.

Keeping busy is one thing, but also getting support with it. There is an organisation called Mothers Apart From Their Children (Match). If you google it you can find a helpline number. They exist to support particularly mothers in shared parenting arrangements and all those mums who are separated from their kids for whatever reason.

I feel for you. Well done for posting.

jj

[DKLParticipant]

I’m in the same position. I have two girls 7-9 I they stop with me two nights a week. My ex is a good mum so I know there safe etc but when I’m not with them I’m crippled with emotion. I constantly break down. No one knows I keep it all to myself. I keep busy with work and smile and look happy but I just don’t want to do anything when I get home. Been separated  10 months and i am happier not been with the ex but not been with my girls everyday is the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced and kills me every day. Hoping it’s gets easier. For me and you.

[S.Lee80Participant]

I know the feeling. My son goes to his dad on weekends and I find myself feeling lonely. Its harder on half terms and other holidays as he goes away longer. I don’t get any contact with my son when he goes to his dad as well so I am always thinking about him. It doesn’t get any easier but you have to keep busy. Plan you days before your daughter goes to his dad. Find something you enjoy doing. Do you have your family near you? Go for a walk, gym, learn an instrument, enrol on a online course, watch a box set series, try anything. You got to remember that you are an individual and you got to find something about what you enjoy doing. You are not alone in this. There are lots of people experiencing this, including me. X

[TCC1979Participant]

It’s a crappy feeling being separated with your child, no matter how long it’s for. I only get 4 hrs on a Sat to spend with my daughter at the moment, and it really sucks.

Keep busy, keep talking to friends and family.

 

[Author]

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