Lonely and isolated

[Donski74Participant]

So here goes….I’m struggling.

I think of my life as pre child and post child. Pre child I was a work aholic holding down at least 2 jobs at once since I was 18. When I wasn’t working I was socialising, anything from charlty events, fitness, theatre and clubbing or pubing. I would sleep for maybe 5 hours a night and start all over again. I was always full of energy, motivated and surrounded by people with a close bunch of good friends.

Post baby I was terribly happy and really proud of myself. I had a beautiful boy, and despite even my own doubts I had become a great mum. Something I’d had to do all by myself as a single parent with very little support. I surprised myself. And despite my happy glow and bundle of joy, on a personal level I struggled with the immense change in my life. I was suddenly friendless, confined mostly to my small flat alone, and even at baby or toddler groups I didn’t seem to fit into a group being an older mum.

Anyways my boy is now seven, and despite currently being unemployed, I have returned to work with great success and built my confidence in the work place. I still think of myself as friendly but seem unable to cerment any real friends. And just lately have lost all motivation for anything.

I’m very frustrated with myself, as I know that only I can change my situation. But for the life of my I feel so overwhelmed as to where to start. I dont know what or where I can turn for support. I just feel so alone and have nothing to look forward to. I feel this is having a bad effect on my son’s upbringing as we have little joy in our lives.

Maybe just someone to talk to….

[SherimaParticipant]

Don’t feel sad I know how you feel. Before my little one was born I travelled the world and went to the theatre twice a month and had a fantastic job that took me as far as Germany ..USA and the middle East . Now I’m in a safe job in a large organisation  that I just.do.for the money and and not job satisfaction .. in my job I met lots of people who I got on with but have now  left. Its 5 years now and I don’t have any friends. I have nothing in common with these new work colleagues.as they either talk about religion or ***** about each other . Ive been on my own since I was 5 mths pregnant . My ex came back into my life briefly but had changed after  his flying job drove him to drugs . Not my cup of Tea so I had to sadly say good bye again . I don’t have many friends but my little one enjoys going to  Sunday school and the activities that it brings. My parents passed away and I have 2 siblings that live far away.

[KathymumofoneParticipant]

Hi Donski,

I’m an older mum with a small son too. I’ve downsized in terms of job to make it all work. And I have much less of a social life now because there is so much to do. Once you add homework and tea/bath/bed to a schedule, the day is gone & it is isolating.

Don’t blame yourself, it isn’t easy. your social life just has to change shape. Try for a lunchtime coffee with someone rather than an evening out, get to know your neighbours, offer to help another school mum if you take an inset day off.

What about school events. Can you get involved in the pta or help listen to the little ones read while you are between jobs?

[CandyPopsParticipant]

Have you tried the Meet Up groups in your area? There should be one for single parents. I went to my first meet up yesterday and met some lovely people in the same position as me. The kids cane along too. Why not search online for one in your area. X

[Donski74Participant]

I have searched for a group in MK, and there doesn’t appear to be one. As a non driver that’s that idea…..

It’s very hard and I seem to have lost my mojo, I mean I know loads of mums from school but apart from pleasantries theres not much more in the way of friendship.

Oh well km sure it’ll all come good eventually……

[Donski74Participant]

I have searched for a group in MK, and there doesn’t appear to be one. As a non driver that’s that idea…..

It’s very hard and I seem to have lost my mojo, I mean I know loads of mums from school but apart from pleasantries theres not much more in the way of friendship. 

Oh well km sure it’ll all come good eventually……

[GingerbreadJustineModerator]

Hi Donski74.  Justine here.

We have Gingerbread friendship groups which run through England and Wales.  As you are a member of the forum you will be able to search to see if there are groups near you.  If there are none, why not set up one yourself.  Have a look and see what you can find.  Good luck.

Single parent groups

 

[Forever SmileParticipant]

<span style=”caret-color: #1a1919; color: #1a1919; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; background-color: #fbfbfb;”>Hi Donski,</span>

I have just joined this site & saw your message & actually replied twice to you but see neither reply got posted, so I’m unsure what happened there.

My heart goes out to you as I understand exactly how you feel.

If you wanted to message me here privately so we can at least chat / message each other, this may be a start as I truly am in the same boat & know how this feels…It’s awful…

[Donski74Participant]

Hi, so as new to this site, I’m not sure if this msg is becoming to entire forum or just you. But hello anyways, I’m kinda hoping that I can find some peeps that I can chat with and let of steam whom may be able to empathise a little with how I feel, so thanks for replying

[Forever SmileParticipant]

Hi there, I have sent you a private message so we can chat there… ;0)

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