Lonely and isolated
26 March 2021 at 1:41 pm #52020
Hi, im new to this forum. I have been a single mum for just over 9 months now after coming out of a 12 year relationship. At first the end of the relationship was a relief as for most of the 12 years it was focused on my ex. He had a gambling addiction and built up a £10,000, without my knowledge, over the course of 2 years. Which I helped him sort out, including taking on a second job and working 7 days a week, as he went into a depression. He was quite controlling and by the end of the relationship I felt as though I was smothered and trapped.
He moved on really quickly with someone else, (within 2 weeks) which has put doubt in my mind on weather it was going on before we split. It has had a major affect on my oldest childs mental health. My ex has made things very difficult and continues to do so. He plays the victim and tells everyone that everything is my fault.
I can feel so lonely and isolated and often wonder if this has been his plan all along. The thought of getting into a new relastionship scares me as I dont want to put myself or my kids through a situation like this again. I also belive my ex will try and cause trouble with any new relationship I have. I try my best to stay positve but I feel like I an really alone and although my kids keep me going, when they go to bed it would be nice to share some of my stresses with someone.
Has anyone else ever felt this way?26 March 2021 at 1:52 pm #52022
Feel like that most of the time! You can call me if you like, I could do with talking to someone too after kids gone to bed, it’s my loneliest time. Feel free to message me if you like.
Sounds like you have gone through a lot
Xx26 March 2021 at 2:00 pm #52023
Thats exactly how I am, but sometimes need that time alone especially when the kids have driven me crazy. Its like im between a rock and a hard place. Everything seems like everything is a contridiction. I never thought the emotional side of being a single mum would be hardest.
X26 March 2021 at 2:11 pm #52024
Hello! I’m new too. I’m going through a separation as my husband has been having an affair for two years. I feel so lonely and night times are really hard. x26 March 2021 at 2:18 pm #52027
Why dont we set up a midnight feast, cupcake and a hot chocolate, and chat!29 March 2021 at 12:26 am #52104
I feel your pain, going through exact same thing as you! 12 yr relationship, I needed it to end as he was also very controlling and manipulative! he had been texting someone since jan and only told me of her after they had had their first dates! I am happy its over but really annoyed at his way of doing it! the evenings are hard too, he knows I’m not gonna meet anyone and keeps telling me ‘its ok if this doesn’t work out we can try again’! lol as if! ha ha
I’m in my third year of uni, and its knocked me for six, I can’t focus at all! I have a presentation to do tomorrow and I can’t even write it! partners can be so cruel and unconsiderate sometimes!
your not alone at night, I’m with you, we can do this and end up in a better place I’m sure of it! xx29 March 2021 at 9:33 am #52106
Its comforting to know I’m not alone on the way I feel. Your situation has a lot of simarlarities to mine.
After reading some of the post on here, I’m shocked at how many people are saying about their ex’s being controlling and mentally abusive.
I believe that everything happens for a reason and even if we don’t deserve whats been thrown at us it will make us stronger in the end. X30 March 2021 at 2:19 am #52154
Well they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and I never believed that.But I Do Now💪 I’ve been on my own for 9.5 years-it honestly doesn’t feel like that long bc I’ve been so madly busy between the kids and the trouble their dads been causing me.One day you are going to look back and say How on earth did I manage all that! That’s what I’m doing now sometimes.
The loneliness and isolation is really the worst part of things.There’s been times when I literally have thought I’m going mad from having no one to talk to besides my kids,particularly the last 12 months.Comes to a point that I’m seeing from quite a few single mum’s that we kind o f forget how to have a normal humdrum adult conversation,that doesn’t involve court or contact or exes or any other miserable subject.If you don’t work outside your home your world can really shrink!I
So please know you are not alone At all.(though it’s sad and it means there’s plenty misery to go round )There are FAR too many single parents in situations similar to yours &unfortunately many of us can relate.