Lonely and confused

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  • #52128 Report

    Nicki44
    Participant

    After coming out of a 29 year relationship I’m finding the challenge of trying to sort out financial help,looking for a job,running a house,looking after my 3 children really hard.My ex keeps saying he wants to still be the best dad to them but isn’t carrying this out..he is constantly lying to them and it breaks my heart.could do with a chat

    #52132 Report

    plogermans
    Participant

    Hi,

    Thats a mamoth task you have, all that work for one person. I don’t think a lot of people realise how hard being a single parent is unless they are one. That was a long marriage, mine were only 4 years and one child, and 1.5 years and one child. Your ex needs to have the children once a week or moreto give you a break and some me time.

    Good luck,

    Dave.

     

     

    #52147 Report

    Tina D
    Participant

    Hi Nikki,

    I can empathize: My partner left recently after 27 years together. We have two teenagers. We weren’t married and I looked after family and home. He was kind but is now cold. He has also lied- he has told the kids he has no money when he has lots of savings which he won’t split and a really good job! I am also finding it really hard to look after the kids, their mental health and issues that have come up, do house jobs, look for a job and sort out all the financial side of life which I never had to do before. They move between our homes and when they and the dog aren’t here for a few days, I feel so depressed at the loss and break-up of my family, I miss the kids and my furry friend.. Most of the time I feel overwhelmed, lonely, down and unable to bounce back. It has really affected my self esteem badly. I don’t have friends who have been through this so not sure they understand how rubbish you can feel.

    #52217 Report

    Nicki44
    Participant

    Hi Tina

    i totally get everything you are saying as your story sounds so similar to mine.He is not the loving caring person he has been for 29 years,he is constantly lying,arrogant and heartless.He is messing with the children’s emotions and doesn’t seem to care about anyone but himself.I would rather him not be in their lives at all

    how are you feeling?

    #52255 Report

    Tina D
    Participant

    Hi Nikki,

    I’m not feeling good at all. It’s his turn to have the kids and dog this week.  I feel very low and flat.

    I know I should be really actively looking for a job but I just feel really low, flat and overwhelmed. I feel like curling up on the bed and staying there despite this beautiful weather. I’m finding it really hard to contact friends to tell them how I’m really feeling.I find it hard to open up to friends, they’re all so busy. And I think if you’ve not been through this, you can’t really understand the effect of it on others. I don’t want to go food shopping etc.. because I will bump into neighbours, locals,  etc.. and I can’t handle it when they say “how are you” in passing as they do and I have to reply “Fine thanks, how are you?” when I’m far from it.

    My ex lives close by and I can’t bear looking at him because he is basically saying I was of no value the last 5 years of our family life. He said I did not make an equal contribution to our family. I was so conscientious and hard working-I think he is doing this to justify not splitting our savings, his pension etc…equally. I never in a million years thought he would behave in this way because we weren’t married.. I feel stupid and betrayed. I’m not bad-mouthing him to the kids but I can’t bear to communicate with him either. This is not good for co-parenting I know….

    How are things for you?

    #52276 Report

    Nicki44
    Participant

    Oh no I know it’s hard but you need to talk to people and try and go about your daily business.Have you spoken to your doctor?Your circumstances are so similar to mine,where about are you?Im happy to send my number if you want to chat,we may be able to help each other through it

    take care and don’t be too hard on yourself x

    #52282 Report

    Gummibear123
    Blocked

    You don’t have to say “Fine thanks”,when ppl ask how you are.I find they get the msg when I say”hmm,wld you rather I say Fine thanks,or do you really want to know?” It’s an efficient way of finding out who your friends are😋

    As for the rest of your post i think it’s important to know that most of what you are posting/ saying/feeling is very normal for these ABnormal situations we find ourselves in and a lot of us have been there done that….There’s nothing wrong with you,it’s a crazy life🍸🍹😉

     

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

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