22 September 2021 at 5:22 am #59929
Im 38 years old with a beautiful 6yr old son.
I work part time but im so fed up of being lonely,
Im not seeking a relationship.. tried that i just don’t have the time. Night time is the worse.
I can distract myself during the day with housework/jobs, but nights are not good for me… I have a limited amount of friends as i struggle to trust people.22 September 2021 at 5:40 am #59930
Hi Becs, that is also my worry when I move out and have those quiet night with no children. Most of the people I know where I live are through my wife and now I will be looking to meet new people. It’s not something I am looking forward to. I hope it gets better/easier22 September 2021 at 5:43 am #59931
BTW I found an app called FROLO for single parents where you can chat to other single parents. I have it on my iPhone. It’s worth checking out and good to meet others virtually in a similar situation22 September 2021 at 5:48 am #59932
Thanks, i will take a look.
I have an arrangement with ex partner that he has our son so i can work lates all weekend. But once little one is in bed at night thats when i realise im lonely.
I hope you don’t find it too bad.
Bec22 September 2021 at 7:16 am #59933
We need to find something to keep us busy in those evenings, especially with the season changing. I need to find a hobby. My children are 10 and 8 now and going to bed by 9pm. It’s going to be those nights when my ‘wife’ has them that I will notice how quiet the house is. I also work from home and don’t have much human interaction. I need to think about the positives…it to easy to be negative right now22 September 2021 at 1:44 pm #59957
Totally agree loneliness does creep up on us. It’s so important to also make time for ourselves get out and do something when we can.
I just rejoined the gym having left when covid started. My divorce is going through after a 20 yr marriage and she is already into a new serious relationship.22 September 2021 at 1:48 pm #59958
We have been living with my sister since the split until our new house is ready. Worry about how it will feel when my children and me move into the hew house and I am without adult company for the first time.
these forums sound like a great idea. But I hope I feel calm enough by that point that I can enjoy the evenings and maybe find a hobby I haven’t been able to enjoy in the last few years.
I hope you can find the same22 September 2021 at 2:00 pm #59962
Thats what i struggle with, it feels like someone else should be here with me ..not sure if its the adult conversation or the backup i feel i need. I suffer from panic attacks too which doesn’t help . Im too looking at a new hobby. Keep in touch and let me know how things go.22 September 2021 at 2:05 pm #59963
Abracr, im glad you are getting into the gym again..
Sorry that it seems your ex has moved on quite quickly. From your post i can tell its upsetting you.
I believe that everything happens for a reason and eventually you will find out why and find happiness, you deserve to find someone who loves you.
Bec x22 September 2021 at 2:12 pm #59964
Agree it’s not easy. Therapy is very useful and no admission of failure! I am currently finding ways to try and focus on the positive opposites of the negative thoughts. It really can help. For sure it’s baby steps, but gradually the lure are less “lows” each day.22 September 2021 at 2:17 pm #59966
Abracr I understand how you feel. My “husband” left my two beautiful children and me for someone half his age without looking back. He is now buying a house with her and pays my maintenance out of their joint account! It amazes me the speed with which he has set up with someone else. Way before the divorce and finances are even sorted! On good days I known I am better off but the bad days still come.
depending on the situation, it can be better being alone than living with someone who is so difficult to please.
Becs I agree with the back up comment. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you you are doing a good job. I am sure you are! I hope the panic attacks lessen over time x22 September 2021 at 2:38 pm #59969
Im still taking baby steps now but im glad im free of the relationship i was in.
Thanks, i had a breakdown last year so on antidepressants and diazepam for panic. Helps a little.
P271 you are definitely better off now.. it amazes me how fast people can move on.
I tried a relationship recently but i realised i just couldn’t force a feeling that wasnt there.
I have my parents here at the moment so i feel ok. But once it comes to little ones bath time tonight i know the loneliness will set back in.
Hopefully all our situations will get to a better place soon.22 September 2021 at 2:49 pm #59970
Bec82 it sounds like you have had an awful time. Every day is a victory isn’t it. I often look forward to the boys going to bed then I realise I have nothing to do because as a mum you don’t really have that many hobbies do you. When they go away at weekends, my life just stops. Cos my life was my family and when they are not there I don’t know what to do with myself.
I am the same as you.i am definitely better off. I just wish my “husband” could be kinder and leas cold. The way he has done this is awful yet it is my fault somehow22 September 2021 at 4:30 pm #59973
I know, sometimes I can’t wait to bedtime but then its like.. hmm ok what now.
My depression has started to get worse. Glad i found this group x22 September 2021 at 6:09 pm #59979
Oh bless you…I know it’s not easy. Whenever you get a negative thought you have to try and think about a positive alternative. So instead of thinking about being alone I say to myself there is an amazing woman around the corner that I will meet soon !