Loneliness when children are with their father

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  • #19031 Report



    I’m new here. I separated from my ex husband over 4 years ago. My children spend a week with me and a week with him.

    I love life when they’re with me, I enjoy my work, I enjoy being at home and keeping on top of the housework. Everything is great. Then, they leave. Everything becomes a chore and all I can think to do with myself is sleep so the loneliness isn’t so painful or noticeable.

    I know this isn’t healthy, so I’m hoping for some advice.

    I’m already taking antidepressants and I meditate etc to minimise the depression.  It’s just so hard being up and down all the time.

    Thank you in advance

    #19032 Report



    I am in the exact same situation as you, people tell you to see it as positive and time for yourself but I feel so down when my son goes that all I do is mope around!!

    #19034 Report



    Thanks for your message. It’s so hard isn’t it?

    I know people think they’re being helpful but seeing it as “time for myself” doesn’t work. I don’t need time for myself. I just want them at home.

    I don’t know how to be okay with it

    #19035 Report



    I feel exactly the same… My husband left me and our 3 boys (8, 11 and 14yrs) only 10mths ago and i just feel so down and  lonely when they are with him. I have no family in the area at all and my friends are all spending time with their own families. It’s really hard being in a quiet house filled with memories… i am debating selling the family home we shared now and moving us all 3 hours away to be where my family live so i have a suport network to try and rebuild a life for myself! But the kids dont want to mov, so i keep thinking ” am i just being selfish?” I’m getting  more and more depressed and isolated and lonely tho xxxxxxx

    #19036 Report



    It is difficult as friends are all with their own families. It feels like being stuck in some sort of limbo 🙁

    I don’t think it’s selfish if it’s truly in everyone’s best interests, may take your mind off feeling lonely if you do some research into it.

    I used to throw myself into renovating our house. Maybe that’s why I’m struggling as everything is done. Perhaps I need a new distraction…

    #19044 Report


    It’s easier if you have something that demands action, such as a dog that needs walking. Something to talk to as well.

    I needed people around me and something to keep me busy, so I volunteered for a charity.

    #19048 Report


    I think this is what I need to do. I wonder if it’s worse because I’m not working over Christmas. However I still need to fill the void left by them not being here every other week.

    Thank you for your message x

    #19057 Report


    It is hard to not feel guilty enjoying your free time. This is something that takes time, but you do deserve it so plan things in advance, whether its dinners with friends or family, day trips, cinema visits to see adult films etc.

    You can do this!

    #19058 Report


    Thank you. I think I’ve realised I need to do some more planning ahead. It’s like a rollercoaster. I get so lost in the moment when I’m with them and then **** they’re gone again!

    #19061 Report


    Its hard on your own. What you can do is watch tele, dvd, have some munchies. Relax have a bath etc…but on your own the evenings can be tough

    I am on my own with my son, luckily have family and friends help me a lot and me and my son spend a lot of time with them so we dont spend many days at home. My mum has my son when i work which is good and she has him wed night till fri. I find it tough to plan anything tho most people arent out midweek so most weeks im home alone

    What do you do when you kids are at their Fathers?

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