27 April 2020 at 1:13 am #39418
Hi, I’m new here and have never posted on anything like this before. I have an 8 year old daughter, it has always been her and I since I was 5 months pregnant. I am here because I feel desperately lonely and have felt this way for as long as I can remember, even when I am around people I feel lonely. I have friends but they all have their own families and I feel a bit like a spare part and like I have no purpose. It’s not that I am seeking a relationship, I would just like to come first to someone. I spend a lot of time on my own and just wish I was able to talk to someone. I feel stupid for even saying this but I just need someone/anyone to talk to who might feel the same as I do.27 April 2020 at 6:15 pm #39440
Hello dorsetgirl Iam sorry you feel this way I understand feeling lonely I have only recently become a single parent which iam not handling well at all my husband has left us for someone else I’m heart broken , out girls are 5 and 6 he has not seen them since leaving made no effort at all he left on 14.01 20 I’m here if you need to talk .
Karen27 April 2020 at 10:48 pm #39448
First and foremost- what a beautiful part of the world! (I lived in Blandford for 2 years, very picturesque!)
Secondly, you do have a purpose! Not only are you a great mother, I bet you are also a fantastic friend to those around you.
I can totally understand what you are saying; even the most independent of us need to feel some reassurance at times. Being strong and constantly putting on a brave face can be hard work.
You’ve made a great first step by joining this group – there’s a lot of support out there. I’m more than happy to chat if you have things on your mind or just want to rant 🙂28 April 2020 at 12:18 am #39450
I’m not far from Blandford 🙂
Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it.
Felt a Bit stupid posting here, But I really felt like I needed to get it off my chest!
Not sure if we are just supposed to feel like this…28 April 2020 at 8:04 am #39453
Hi dorsetgirl & others posting here
Im Chris (female) and I’m the same as you as in I’ve never posted on anything like this before and like others here (I’m guessing) I never wanted to find myself in this position….of being a single parent , not for a moment 😔
I can’t write much at the moment as my little 6 yr old boy is soon to be dropped off by his father for home schooling, but I will definitely come back to the forum soon to talk about the subject of loneliness and other aspects of being a single parent.
Im just so glad I took the plunge to join .
chris28 April 2020 at 8:05 am #39454
Can anybody tell me how I put a picture up of myself please 🤔
chris28 April 2020 at 8:07 am #39455
Haha I also didn’t click the username I chose would show in msgs …you can tell I’m a newbie and rushing ! 🥴28 April 2020 at 12:21 pm #39460
Hi Dorsetgirl – you are very welcome. And it’s not stupid at all – it takes a far stronger person to reach out and ask for support. We all need a little guidance from time to time 🙂
We are living in strange times at the moment, which only adds to the feeling of isolation. As I say, feel free to give me a shout (I’ve been reminiscing about my Blandford days, haha!)
Chris – welcome! If you click on your profile at the top, you should see an option to change your photo. You can upload one from your phone.
Steve28 April 2020 at 7:14 pm #39463
thanks for the welcome and how to upload a photo, hopefully it can be seen now 🙂28 April 2020 at 8:07 pm #39465
lovely photo ! If want to change your name, click on your photo / profile and then Edit. Unless you wish to keep Gingerbreadforum 😉28 April 2020 at 8:07 pm #39466
which is fine with me ! 😉28 April 2020 at 10:28 pm #39467
Hi Chris! Welcome!
I hope you are well!
Thank you Steve! Very strange times indeed! Feeling extremely grateful to have my health at least!28 April 2020 at 10:32 pm #39468
Thanks ! I’ll give it a go29 April 2020 at 6:15 pm #39499
Hi Dorset Girl, it’s my first time on here as well. I understand what you are saying about not necessarily wanting a relationship but that you just want to feel like you come first to someone, and I have to say I’ve had similar thoughts since the lockdown and it’s ok to feel like this and I think it’s very human to feel this way. But I also know we can also feel lonely when we are in a relationship as I can remember feeling this way at times when I was with my ex as he didn’t fill the void that was there, as no person is meant to fill that void. The only thing that helps me is connecting deeply with that feeling and things that fill me up. It might sound mad but that can involve writing to it or talking to it because that lonely feeling is a part of you but it’s not all of you. I’m sure like me there’s parts of you that don’t feel like that and I have learnt to interact with those parts as well. For example there’s a part of me that loves to walk in the woodlands but I’d never allow myself the time, but since lockdown I use my exercise time to walk and being surrounded by trees and bluebells really lifts my spirits. I read the other day and it really resonated with me that we can only find joy in the moment and once we start to lose our joy it’s because we are thinking about the past or the future. So if there’s things you like to do that brings you into the present I’m sure that will really help you. And finally I totally get what you mean by feeling lonely even when you are with people and feel like a spare part, for a long time I felt like I couldn’t connect with people and then I realised that I wasn’t being present with them either. So often as a single parent you have to be strong for everyone it’s hard to be vulnerable and be yourself as you feel they just wouldn’t understand. Find people that you feel safe being yourself with and allow yourself to be vulnerable, even if it starts here with us. You are heard Dorset Girl and you do matter. I read somewhere once try and become the person you’d love to be best friends with, and I think that starts with us learning how to enjoy being around ourselves. I can tell from your short intro you’ve got a lot to offer yourself, so start being your own best friend! My favourite memories are visiting my grandparents in Dorset, 2 weeks every summer in todber near sturminster newton and as Steve said it’s one beautiful place to live ❤️30 April 2020 at 12:04 am #39508
Louise D, that is a lovely, lovely post x