12 May 2019 at 11:58 pm #24858
Hi Agnes, you do seem to have the right frame of mind to get through this 🙂, you’ll find many folk here will be supportive if you need us though.
You might want to think about changing your username, unfortunately gingerbread has now changed the forum rules so it’s open, anyone can see what you’re writing and if anyone Googles your name this is likely to come up. I think if you private message someone here its hidden but the forum isn’t secure.
Mark13 May 2019 at 12:31 am #24859
thank you I will do that. I try to keep myself relaxed and calm through yoga and meditation. My son even meditates with me now lol long may it last, I think it may I see him using breathing techniques when his emotions are getting the better of him. I hope I can also bring some support to others here.
Agnes13 May 2019 at 7:27 am #24861
I feel like I needed to comment on this post. I have been feeling lonely for what it feels like is a lifetime. (Literally)
“Sob story” Growing up I didn’t feel that love from my mum because I felt the pain and anger she had from my dad leaving her. I knew she cared for me but I didn’t feel the “motherly love”. I don’t blame her as she didn’t know how to move forward but I swore I would make my children feel like this
My daughters dad made me believe we was in a relationship for almost a year while he was in a relationship with someone else that he is still with. I only found out the truth in August 2018 and my daughter is 2 now. I dealt with it okay because I’m happy I know the truth and believe people come in to our lives as a blessing or a lesson. He used to say he only wanted to make me happy and only yesterday I realised that he did make me happy because he gave me a beautiful daughter but this doesn’t take away the loneliness. I just want a hug and to feel needed and loved. Yes I get it from my daughter but right now she wants to do everything herself so I feel like she might not NEED me soon. What I want from someone else I need to get it to myself. I have this emptiness that I feel everyday. I used to fill this with a regular sexual partner but I was just digging the whole deeper.
I am on a journey to understand and find me but this has made me lonelier. I feel like I’m storing tears as I want to cry everything out but the tears stay bottled in but Its a battle that I will win. I see a lot of people recommending reading which is a habit I want to pick up.
I advice everyone to write a letter to themselves on why they are lonely then all the things you are grateful for
write a letter to your ex partner (don’t give it to them) saying how they hurt you, what you learned about yourself and what positive things you are going to do next to feel better.
Maybe we are meant to feel lonely to be our greatest self for everyone in our life. I don’t know.13 May 2019 at 9:17 am #24862
Your little one is only 2, mine is 13 and still needs me, it’s just that the need changes constantly from when they’re a baby and hopefully when they become an adult, I assure you that your daughter will love, need and want you for a long time to come ☺
I once had a FWB, ultimately though it was a very shallow experience that didn’t stop me from feeling lonely, many of the things I miss and want can’t be found in the bedroom, silly things such as deciding what to have for dinner that night, holding someones hand, one particular thing that springs to mind is a little while ago I had this really annoying eyelash the had grown the wrong way so that it was constantly in my vision, it was driving me nuts, I couldn’t get the depth perception right to pluck it out myself and there was no way I was going to let my sometimes clumsy teenager loose with a pair of tweezers millimetres away from my eye (I’m funny about eyeballs so I shudder at the thought lol), I literally had no one to ask and it was a constant reminder that I was alone and missing that special someone to share life with, I feel as though half of me is missing. Having said that Im aware enough not to put up with a relationship with the wrong person, to put up with being treated poorly just to fill that hole in my life, I’m lonely and sometimes that loneliness is gut wrenching but I’m not desperate, I know the time will come when I meet someone who will want to share my life and aspirations just as I will theirs.
I throw myself into reading, in fact I guess most folk would call my book collection a library and often have 2 books on the go at the same time. I love a book that keeps pulling you through it, that keeps you turning the next page but ultimately it’s a time killer, reading provides entertainment for sure and takes you away from real life but unfortunately at some point it’s back to reality. I don’t stop reading when in a relationship I just read a hell of lot less and my reasons for reading are different.
I’m sorry to read that your mum didn’t express her love for you in a way that you wanted/needed although I suspect she did love you, it’s lovely to hear that you are breaking that cycle and giving your daughter what you didn’t have.