Living alone with a baby or living with parents?

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    Ellizabee
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    Hi all,

    I need some advice.

    I split with my ex at 35/36 weeks pregnant and we were looking for places to live together with the baby. Well, I’ve ended up moving back in with my parents due to the split because of my mental health. I have anxiety anyway but the split has made me so sad and scared and hurt because I feel abandoned.

    My baby is now due in 2 weeks. So, I know I will be at my parent’s when he arrives, but I don’t know whether to just accept staying at my parent’s for a long time or try and find a place for me and the baby alone.

    My mum wants me to stay for a couple of years until I can afford to buy my own house. It’ll save me money, I’ll have my mum’s support emotionally and with baby and during my uni course, and it means I don’t have to worry about moving around.

    But, I don’t get on with my dad who still lives there. He’s an alcoholic and emotionally abusive. I have had incidents of him attacking me, prior to finding out I was pregnant. Whilst my mum is so supportive and I know she would treat my son so well. I don’t know how my dad will be after baby arrives, but I don’t want him hugely involved and my mum just thinks he won’t be bothered by him whatsoever. It’s not the nicest environment for a child though with an alcoholic in the house staggering around nearly every night and the whole weekend.

    I have all the things to furnish a place if I can find a place in my budget. But, if I move out alone, I’m scared for my mental health. I haven’t coped well alone in the past and have ended up moving back to my parent’s, never mind with a baby as well. It wouldn’t be the same as living someone who would support you, like living with my mum. I don’t have any friends around here, only my mum. I have some friends but they are scattered around the midlands due to university, so it’s all via message and the very rare visit to them.

    My ex ‘says’ he will be round all the time to visit and help with the baby, but one of the strains on the relationship we had was his unreliability and false promises. So, I can’t really rely on thinking he will be round regularly.

    I would be looking at staying near my mum if I could find a suitable house, but the market is currently dry due to covid! So, I know I don’t have to decide right now, but I’d like to know what you would do?

    I am on the council housing list and they put me as a low priority. I’m now having it reassessed because of having to move back to my parent’s house.

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