Legal Money Requirements Out with Child Maintenance

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  shirls 1 year, 4 months ago.

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  • #14231 Report

    Steevo
    Participant

    Hi I’m new to the forum, I pay my ex more than the calculated amount of CM, we have done so in agreement. She has gone and spent an obscene amount of money on new schoolwear and has told me I owe her half, I already spend money on my children Outwith maintenance as any decent dad would for new clothes etc and footy fees no qualms, where do i stand on her wanting half of this money?

    Thanks in advance

    #14232 Report

    Anon
    Participant

    Hi there. As far as I’m aware the maintainence should cover everything. My ex husband doesn’t give me any additional money for clothing etc

    #14233 Report

    Steevo
    Participant

    Thank you, I was certain this was the case but wanted to be sure. I’ve had to provide clothes etc as they are not aloud to bring things here and I still provide whatever they need, haircuts, clothes for my house, sports / school fees etc, I feel I need this highlighted even though it’s obvious expenses as a parent.

    #14234 Report

    Anon
    Participant

    I’ve just rechecked the CMS website and it says that your payments are a contribution to maintaining the children and this includes clothes.

    The fact that you pay your ex over and above what you have to means that you are being more than reasonable. Wish there were more men like you around.

    Take care. Jamiebear

    #14235 Report

    Steevo
    Participant

    I appreciate the homework and reply greatly. I constantly feel I need highlight and address what I purchase for my children when I shouldn’t, I even learned to drive so as too see them more and take them all to sport practices, games and tournaments and spend even a few extras hrs together. It just boils my blood that I try to provide the best I can yet still try to be fleeced…..rant over and Thanks again for the reply, it’s greatly appreciated

    #14271 Report

    shirls
    Participant

     

    Hi there,

    This may be a bit controversial but it’s another point of view. Much depends on the financial circumstances as a whole ie; what resources you have available and likewise your ex. As s single parent (receiving maintenance above the CMS rates) I feel the cms rates can be very low. I also know that once I have paid out for accommodation costs (I’m not entitled to housing benefit) there is in fact very little left over. My eldest recently started secondary school, and the obligatory school uniform and full sports kit purchased cost hundreds of pounds. It actually was an obscene amount, but I had to pay for it. This wiped out a whole months maintenance for our child. I asked  my ex (asked) politely if he would consider paying half. The answer was no. I really don’t believe that (the majority of) single parents who receive maintenance and provide care for children attempt to ‘fleece’ the parent who is the ‘primary earner’.

    You clearly do provide for your children and are therefore a good, responsible parent. However the costs of raising a child are enormous, and this increases as they get older, so if you can help out with any additional funding, without compromising your own needs why not do so? It is what (still) married parents do.

    I find that now, once I have paid for; school transport fees, school lunch fees, school uniform and sports kit, school outing costs, and for accommodation and utilities (electricity, gas, water) there’s hardly anything left. Nothing is free where I live.

    All the stats show that the majority of lone parents with care are poor, or maybe even just about managing. That’s objective evidence and worth bearing in mind. Because that in itself highlights that something is wrong somewhere.

    We all want the best for our children, married or separated, so in my mind we should all help out as much as we can.

    Wishing you all the best 🙂

     

     

    #14274 Report

    Anon
    Participant

    Hi Steevo,

    I hear what shirls is saying but from what I’ve read you are providing more than most dads,for example clothing at yours because your ex doesn’t allow your kids to take clothes to yours??!!

    Like most resident parents I’ve had to pay out for expensive uniforms etc, but it isn’t necessarily the paying parent who’s at fault, they don’t set the rules

    #14275 Report

    shirls
    Participant

    Hi guys

    I’m not actually saying it is any parents fault. Primary earner or primary carer. Simply that there is always a different perspective.

    Raising kids is expensive. All parents know this, whether married or separated.

    I did acknowledge that steevo was clearly a good and responsible parent providing regular maintenance (above cms rates).

    It is my view that  cms rates are low, and it is factual to say that most parents with primary care struggle financially and many are poor.

    If the question Steve is asking is; Am I legally required to pay for this by law? Then clearly the answer is – no. However perhaps the question should be; Can  I provide additional funds without compromising my own needs? The answer might be yes or no…. it is dependent on financial circumstances?

    Accommodation costs can be significant, ditto utilities, secondary school costs can also be high, let alone thinking about food and clothes. Of course these costs are not the ‘fault’ of the non-resident parent, likewise they are not the ‘fault’ of the resident parent? They just are what they are. Maybe there is a bigger debate to have when so many single parents are poor?

    My point is we are all parents who want the best for our children ‘If’ you can help out with extras, ‘if’ , then why not do so?

    Incidentally my children always take basic clothing with them when they stay with their dad. However I do expect him to have pyjamas, underwear, socks, outdoor stuff at his. Simply because packing ‘everything’ every other week, and getting back a load of washing can be tiring…. 😀

    So so no offence Steve, just a different viewpoint 🙂 shirls

     

     

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