I won’t go Into too much detail as I don’t often use forums like these, but I’m in desperate need of advice/chat/reassurance.
My sons father lives abroad. Since I got pregnant, he has been horrible, I’m now awaiting an domestic abuse support worker. He has approached a UK solicitor to push me to video call him with my Son (1 yrs old). I am refusing more than once a week that I currently do as my son doesn’t know him, it angers my son to have a phone following him, it’s all so distressing.
Hes pushing and pushing, and he won’t stop. He won’t stop until it goes to court. This is all costing me so much money and he knows this and he will be loving it, as I’m only working part time and legal aid is not available.
I’m terrified. I’m living in constant anxiety. He’s blocked off everywhere because of his behaviour and I won’t video chat without someone with me. I’m worried sick when COVID settles and travel is permitted again. I’m worried sick, I’m terrified. I don’t want that man alone with my Son. He’s gonna brainwash him. I’m terrified.
It is all becoming too much for me. I have a stressful job, I have a toddler to take care of, I have health issues, I have no friends, not close to family. I’m honestly really really struggling. I had to hold back my tears In the supermarket because the thought of that man being near me and my Son, let alone him taking him from me, or my Son being away from me with a stranger unsettles me drastically. I’m also scared a judge will take his side and allow him contact, because he can talk the talk.
I’m so sorry to hear of your situation, it’s absolutely awful, I don’t know much about the legal side but I pray they see your side. You will get through this, it won’t last forever. Stay strong for you and your son, message any time you feel alone. Always remember ‘this too shall pass’ xxx
You do not have to do the weekly calls unless stated by a court order. If it is causing you that much stress your health is more at risk and that is not going to be any good for your son. If it is going through the court system then until that decision is made you can withhold every form of contact. If you are asked down the line why you did this then you can explain how you felt and how and how it was impacting your son as he does not know him due to his absence. Although my ex does not live abroad I’m going through the same process. Are you not entitled to legal help as its a relationship of abuse?
thanks for your replies. My DV worker said I can have a letter from them which would assist with mediation costs, but I’m not sure about anything else, because even though I work part time, I still earn a lot. I will ask though, it’s worth asking! X
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