Leaving marriage and moving out of jointly owned home

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  • #28747 Report



    I have recently told my husband that our marriage is over. After years of emotional abuse, I intend to leave the marital home with our two children (I couldn’t afford the mortgage alone and do not wish to be financially reliant on him paying the mortgage for us).

    I am looking for advice on where to start with moving out. I do not have reliable work (I have been a stay at home Mum for seven years since our eldest was born) which means I would have to apply for Universal Credit. I have joined the council list but the application and bidding process is long and drawn out. Private renting seems a minefield and often states ‘no DSS’ etc. And anyway, how could I even start with renting when I have no money?! Can you start a claim for Universal Credit before you leave home so you have money when you move out?

    We are all currently still living at home together, and I feel like my mental health is starting to struggle with the situation and I am desperate to start afresh. My husband is using the time we are still here to try and convince me to stay. It is so hard.

    I just don’t know where to start! Any advice or experiences welcome!


    Thank you

    #29103 Report


    Hi Rafferty,

    Sorry, I do not have any advice or experience to give you, just a reply to say I’m in the same boat. I’m still living with an emotionally abusive husband but I haven’t yet told him I want a divorce. That’s my next step. I don’t know whether to try to move out myself or whether I will ask him to leave ( I know he will refuse) . My children are 16 and 12. We’ve been married for 17 years. He’s a heavy drinker and that is at the root of the problem As well as his attitude towards me. We both work full time but I’m going to contact a solicitor for some advice before I speak to him. I hope you get the advice you need. Just wanted to say you’re not alone.

    #29109 Report

    Hi there

    Don’t forget that you can always contact our trained helpline advisers.  They will be able to give you up to date information of what you will be entitled too and will be able to help you to explore your options.  It will take some time to get through but all calls will be free.  The helpline is open today between 10am and 6pm.

    Good luck, Justine

    #29120 Report


    Hi! I’m in a similar situation to you. I am wanting to leave my husband, he doesn’t want to separate so the only way this is guna happen.is if I leave. So there are schemes out there that will help you with a deposit. You are able to claim help like housing benefit if you own a home,.however you need to prove you are trying to sell. They normally allow 6 months. Then after that if you have more than 16k in savings the help will stop. I’m planning on renting short term then hopefully being able to buy with the money I get from the house. I know its scary and I still keep thinking it would be easier to stay but I know I cant. Good luck with everything xxx

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