Lack of care and responsibly from there dad

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  • #9112 Report

    H
    Participant

    I’ve been feeling really down and negative this week as I’m so fed up of there dad my ex obviously letting our children down all the time. There’s always a different excuse as much as I love getting the extra time with them it just feels so unfair on them he was supposed to be having them today but he has gone to his gf nieces birthday I even encouraged that he took our children with him but he said he couldn’t then he leads off at me for not giving him his time back when I haven’t even stopped him from taking them as they have been together for over a year so as much as I don’t want them to go to events for her it’s not about me it’s about the boys seeing there dad but it’s all just an inconvience to him it’s like he doesn’t care if he got them unless he got nothing to do then he will want to see them.

    #9115 Report

    Empty
    Participant

    This is where a Parenting Plan you can both agree on (via mediation if necessary) would be beneficial, because any arrangements you agree on must be adhered to or made a binding action in court. Obviously there will be times of exception, such as illness or other plans, but this missing time should be made up as best as possible and the other parent should be notified as soon as possible. I can send you a Parent Plan template which can really help you focus on what’s important for your children. PM me and I’ll email it.

    Otherwise here’s some reading material around the topic and places to get advice in resolving this issue. Let me know if I can help with specific questions you may have.

    Support with any parenting problem: Family Lives 24 hour FREE helpline 0808 800 2222 http://familylives.org.uk

    Separation disputes: http://www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk

    Arrangements for children: http://theparentconnection.org.uk/

    Publicly funded mediation: http://find-legal-advice.justice.gov.uk

    Children should be at the centre of all decision-making: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/media/179714/fjypb_national_charter_1013.pdf

    <span style=”mso-fareast-font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; color: black; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;”>Practice Direction 12b – Child Arrangements Programme: </span><span style=”mso-fareast-font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;”>https://www.justice.gov.uk/courts/procedure-rules/family/practice_directions/pd_part_12b</span&gt;

    All the best.

    #9116 Report

    H
    Participant

    I’ve been to mediation and we both agrees that if it’s our time then the children obviously go with the parent but he won’t take them and keeps letting the boys down as he feels his social life is more important he told me if he has plans he can’t always have the boys but surely his plans should be made with the boys included

    #9117 Report

    Empty
    Participant

    Exactly right, which is why you need a robust Parenting Plan that you can both put your names to, probably through mediation, and if he continues to not stick to it, you need to consider going to court. Don’t be heavy handed about it, but the mediator is impartial and can make this work for you both. A court would want the children to be considered first, not his social life, and he probably knows that so won’t take it that far unless he’s an idiot.

    #9128 Report

    H
    Participant

    We have one we literally went to mediation at the beginning of febuary and the little amount of time he wanted to offer to see our boys the mediator said he should offer more and told him that if he took it to court the judge pushes for parents to have equal shared care and he was horrified and said well I can’t do that I have other arrangements now. It’s just stressing me out so much

    #9129 Report

    Empty
    Participant

    Fine, so take him to court!

    See my links above – the mediator can help you too to get a MIAM. If you need advice, drop me a message.

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