Keeping the peace?
4 November 2021 at 9:19 pm #62310
First want to apologise for some of you who followed me on here cause been a couple years since posting. I lost my partner of almost 10 years to breast cancer just over 2 years ago and not been easy recovering from the loss. Still not but getting there.
Brief…I am a single dad living in the UK for almost 20 years from Texas and live in Worcestershire. I have 3 girls here in the UK. Two of them live with me still. I have a 25yr old daughter who is special needs (autism and dyspraxia) and a 16yr old girl who is fighting her own emotional/anger outburst. I also have a 19 year old girl who lives in an assisted living center in Worcester and is fighting mental illness and is now 9 weeks pregnant by her bf. I am 58 and a medically retired retail manager (been disabled since 2008)
The girls mother is a midwife for the NHS and tries to be there for the girls (except my 25yr old who is not hers biologically and after our divorce in 2009 she cut her off practically) but our 2 girls are fighting and it gets quite serious and their mother leaves it all up to me to handle. And when it comes to money she keeps telling our girls to come to me for help instead of helping herself.
What is making the situation worse is my 19yr old girl’s bf has mental issues himself and is quite aggressive and beligerent. He has hit my 19yr old daughter especially since she is pregnant by him and she takes him back but now making threats to my 16yr old girl cause he gets involved in the “spats” she is having with her sister. I have tried having a chat with him about his attitude and threats but he wont talk or reply to text on phone or messenger. As a Southern Dad we have a rule about hitting our daughters. That is kick the hell out of the guy for doing it and making him regret being alive but I have refrained (with great difficulty) from making any threats to him or going to where he lives cause he lives with his very frail and elderly grandma. But what is testing my patience is his constantly making threats against my 16yr old. NOW.. what will make me laugh in a way is IF he does make good on his threats to hit her..He will be in for a shock. He is approx 5ft 10in and weighs about 60kg(130lbs) has leg muscles about the size of a chicken wing.. my 16yr old is 5ft 4in and weighs 65kg and has a blue-white belt in taikwando. He has a belt in Call of Duty 😀 Do I stand by and watch him attempt to attack or watch him get stomped by her (while videoing it to show she defended herself).
Anyway. Seeing my girls fighting is tearing me apart inside. I have 3 grown sons in Texas (34, 31, 27) and 2 of them are fighting cause of their different political views mainly and cause of my 27 yr old being an ex-con. My 34yr old supports youngest son cause he busted his ass to show he can start over and change and improve himself (he has made General Manager of a McDonalds in just over a year of busting his behind)… No parent likes seeing their children fight but when they are constantly doing it…. GRRRRRRRRRRR
I have tried speaking to them all and got better response from my 3 cats. My 19yr old sometimes thinks I dont help her enough but never thinks of things like giving her £6,000 to bail her out of financial trouble over the last year or doing alot of little things like yesterday, driving 42 miles just to change the cat litter in her cat’s box.. (cause her bf wont do it).. or always making sure she has plenty to eat or always wanting to make sure she can get to her hospital appointments..
Sorry I could go on and on but trouble is building up. I even have asked GP for referal for counselling but NHS is not taking new referrals from what he said so could be years. I could get it privately but am on disability so cant afford it.
I guess I am hoping to hear from somebody else who might be experiencing the same or similar problems and maybe get advice.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
JW (Texas Redneck living in Queen Elizabeth’s World)