Just struggling.

[Singleworkingmum]

I’m a single working mum to my two year old and I just feel so lonely sometimes. Myself and her dad spilt when she was about 7 months and although it wasn’t always easy, we still had family days together and we generally got on well. Then tragically he died last year. And I just struggle with day to day life, i don’t feel happy anymore and I love my child to bits but i really struggle with her behaviour.

[Anonymous]

So sorry to hear of your loss.  You must be finding all this incredibly challenging and it must be a shock still.  You’ll find a great support from the people on this forum and the Gingerbread staff alike.

Her behaviour will be partly her struggling to deal with things just as you are.  Does she go to nursery and if so have they mentioned anything about her behaviour?

[Singleworkingmum]

Thank you, she does she goes 2 full days a week to nursery and her behaviour is generally pretty good there. She’s got good speech and understanding and follows the daily routine at nursery. Occasionally she has her moments at nursery where she will push other children and will say “no!” to the ladies who look after her but then i put that down to being a toddler.

She can be really clingy to me though and I do wonder if that’s because of losing her Dad.

[Anonymous]

It can happen with any separation. When the separation is permanent however as in the case of bereavement and something you can’t well explain to a child that young she must be very confused and maybe even scared.  You will become even more important to her hence the clinginess.

Just keep doing what you’re doing as I’m sure you’re an amazing mother.  They don’t call it terrible twos for nothing and you have all that in addition so make sure you look after yourself too.  Sometimes it’s easy to overlook that while focusing on your child.  You are probably doing a lot better job than you think no matter how hard you are finding it.  Just make sure you’re OK too.

[Ramblinjon]

It’s just a thought but I know most hospices have special trained people who can help children come to terms with losing a parent, both before the parent dies and afterwards so perhaps you could give your local hospice a call to see if they have any suggestions?

[Sherinam]

Bereavement manifests in different ways . Also children can home in on how your feeling and play up and are quite sensitive on your state of mind .

I am not in the same position as you but my life changed when my elder sister died then quite shortly by my mum from a broken heart . So I now I just concentrate on my daughter and work and it’s like I have blocked these beautiful people out and I no longer remember them .

So my advice to you is that you  need to go for counseling. I did not cry for these people who raised me because I had to support my niece’s and other relatives that I never thought of myself . Take care and maybe you could ask your GP . There is cruisebereavement which will give you both support. Take care of yourself

 

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