just started going through seperation
2 January 2019 at 7:29 pm #19161
My husband announced new years morning that he wishes for divorce. He and his mum tried too kick me out of the house saying i had no right to be there, i dont work as up until recently was a full time carer. My husband is the sole name on the mortgage,so they said i have no right to be in house. Im currently on crutches unable to bear weight on one leg due to recent knee injury . My father was called out and he advised me i had every right to be at house and was assured i wont be removed from house once he left. within 10 mins of my father leaving it all started up again, then my husband made it clear too all in house, he wanted too stab me, his mum after while managed to remove him from house. police were called straight after as feared what he could do and that we had 8 yr old in house. He was later taken into custody overnight upon his release today police said he was going too be returning too house, but would not try and engage in conversation with me, but wished for us to have mediation to resolve matter. But 4 hrs later turned up with his mum, packed a suitcase and took few other bits. Im scared as to what rights i have as dont work r have my name on mortgage for house. Feel my world has turned upside down. Now alone in house with my 8 yr old trying to hold thing together while hobbling around on crutches, my eldest daughter is coming tomorrow to take son to school for me, but after that dont know how can get son too and from school. My 17 yr old is taking his dads side and has just notified me he is staying with friend until weekend. Really feel so isolated and dont know what to do, it should have been our 11th wedding anniversary on the 11th of this month, but all i got is i want a divorce 10days before3 January 2019 at 10:09 am #19187
I’m Justine, one of the moderators here. I’m sorry you are going through a difficult time. As you have talked about being threatened by your husband, I am going to send you an email with signposting information to help support your safety.
At Gingerbread we have a helpline that can help you to look at your housing rights when separating. The number is 0808 802 0925. Opening times are as follows: Mon 10 – 6, Tues 10 – 4, Wed 10 – 1 & 5 – 7, Thurs 10 – 4, Fri 10 – 4. They can be quite busy so it may take up to 20 minutes to get through, so please be patient.
Justine3 January 2019 at 10:38 am #19188
Hi Lynda I’ve just joined this group yesterday I’m recently separated just before Xmas my husband packed his stuff couple weeks before Xmas he’s done it a lot of times I suffer from fibromyalgia so get a lot of pain daily I’m struggling with my emotions a lot I’m hiding from family but what hurts for while doesn’t hurt forever I’ve had messages from him since telling me I’m a diamond but then since he hasn’t had the welcome home has been abusive to 2019 is my year to look after me for once and not a man who has very little respect for his wife3 January 2019 at 11:16 am #19190
I just dont know what to do, im so scared he will take my son away from me, my son is the only one keeping me going at the moment. I just feel so scared that him and his mum will try and take my son away from me,especially as his mum never wanted me to be with him from day one, due to having children from previous relationships> He can be so manipulative, which he is proving now by trying turn my eldest son against me and both him and his mum messaging my son checking how things are a home3 January 2019 at 12:13 pm #19194
I have family of six 2 married daughters hard to believe But find your inner strength through your children like I’m doing it’s took me 7 years to consider divorce but I no life can only get better my house has been so peaceful last few weeks hard at times we are human we feel emotions but Gloria gaynor I will survive Lynda3 January 2019 at 12:32 pm #19195
i also have family of 6 only my 2 youngest live at home, my daughters have all left home, the last one to leave says she felt pushed out by her step dad. I had threatened him with divorce several years ago and now wish i did a the time,i feel totally drained and an emotional train wreck, im currently seeking counselling to help me through all of this, when my youngest is at home i put n brave front,but now hes back at school i feel so upset. Im currently on crutches due too knee injury s am housebound and relying on family to get my son to and from school and trying to mentally prepare myself for messy divorce and husband trying to obtain full custody of our son3 January 2019 at 1:04 pm #19197
I was a wreck few weeks ago but life only throws at us what we can handle take one day at a time like I do I live in the south west I to also struggle with my illness but I have plans to survive what life throws come to far to give up been a mum for 30 years and now a grandma so no matter how hard things get I no il cope do hope you find same peace of mind with things4 January 2019 at 9:17 am #19232
Lynda75. I am a Dad of 2. I am 15 months down the road from my separation, after my wife left me, even though she was the one that cheated, came home drunk trying to attack me, had councelling and on meds, numerous chances where I gave her the benefit of the doubt etc. I will agree with everyone else, yet I know it is just words but time is a great healer and you will get through it. I didnt know at the beggining how on earth I would. My world turned upside down, I lost my job, had to sell the house, lost friends, only saw my children 50% of the time, lost thousands of pounds etc. Still to this day, I can remember the pain and distress of that day. I suffer from anxiety and that really kicked off. I had months of ups and downs, mot knowing my own mind, what I wanted. Tried taking the easy option to get her back, then the next minute hated her. So I guess what I am trying to say is, your not on your own and with support etc you will come out on top.
As for the house, I am sure no one can kick you out, nor can they take your son away from you. A couple of things I would do. I would go to CAB to get some free advise first. I would apply to get child support in your name for the children living with you and I would investigate child maintenance based on his salary etc. Not working, you will be entitled to multiple benefits, which really do add up. Ensure any out of court agreement you come too means you have the children more so you do not lose entitlement to the most of the CB and CM. Do NOT ask him to leave the house as I believe there is some strange law where he can claim rent from you if you have made / asked him to leave.
Hope this helps a little5 January 2019 at 10:55 pm #19290
My ex husband has made it quite clear hat he is going to keep the house, when i try and discuss anything else to him, he is very vague in everything, he came to the house to take out our 2 sons today, upon return he said he needed to collect items from office, then went up into bedroom going through the drawers, when i went up later after he had gone i noticed that my drawer was open and stuff had been moved. He assures me we will make agreements regarding children, assets and everything else ourselves and only our divorce will go through courts, but i just dont trust him, i just cant shake feeling that he is still trying to control me and thinks that he is but after over 1 yr of being controlled im used to make him believe his is,but in actual fact hes not. I have no finances of my own so am unable to seek professional legal advice on this matter. He is currently living away from the family home of his own choice as says he needs to sort things out, all i wish is for quick divorce and arrangements made between ourselves so that i can move on and be the mum my boys deserve and not feel like im being held to ransom by him anymore