Just set up Child Maintenance – waiting for the blow up with ex

[5bellsRach86]

Hi guys,

I’m new on here. I am feeling very apprehensive. I told my ex to go in August after 8 long years. He was controlling and aggressive. Yet he is a good dad to our 2 yr old daughter and 6 yr old son. We have sorted and stuck to a routine of him having the children every weekend and Wednesdays until bedtime. He is at his mums but has a rental lined up in 10 days.

Today I feel physically sick. After lots of up and downs with money and arguing, I have rang Child Maintenance today and they will now sort. He will receive a letter tomorrow. I am worrying as I know he will go mental. He has been very up and down emotionally and sends me all sorts of abusive messages. So i had enough and thought i am not waiting for him to decide when to pay me i will get it sorted.

Invariably now I am facing a breakdown of communication with him and he will most definitely make everything much harder than it already is. He is self employed but CM told me they will go on what he earn’t last year which was a good amount.

I have a good family that are helping me a lot and support. Even so it feels so overwhelming sometimes. But i know im doing the right thing.

Any advice or help please.

thanks,

 

Rach

[5bellsRach86]

Also just to add i am shocked at how little universal credits is. I have never been well off and we always lived week to week. ive applied for all the extra help i can get. this is a massive hit and i am slowly struggling through. it is hard knowing i will never have enough to save for anything. I am 2 years away from finishing an open university degree and i work all weekend when i dont have the children.i am going to be struggling now for years and this is most depressing.

[Westernchampion]

Hi,it sounds like you have given him plenty of opportunities to make payments to you so I think he gave you no other choice. I agree about how low UC is and they have made plenty of mistakes on my claim.

[Gingey28]

I couldnt get any maintenance, babys Dad self employed but he somehow has got away with it all i didnt even get to the DNA test and at least prove his is the father.

Aparently he doesnt earn more than 7quid a week haha yeah ok he earns a lot of cash in hand but it annoys me he called me a liar and everything and i hvent even took the maintenace case further cos he wud cause me hassle. We were not together but he is a weird person who cheated on his gf with me but wants everythin to be right for him. He also got someone to txt me n harrass me but police cudnt do a thing. I carry hate towards him anf see him driving rnd in his work van when im round my mums and it winds me up

[5bellsRach86]

thank you guys for your replies. Gingey28 im sure my ex will be doing the same from now on and will try get paid cash etc.

 

[Gingey28]

Bloody annoys me but thats the way it is for a lot of us. Urgh some people

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