Hi
I’m sort of in the position your OH sounds like, but please bear with me! My husband left nearly 3 months ago and, though it was the last thing I wanted, I needed the council tax reduction etc so had to instigate a lot of the stuff you mention. Also for Universal Credit. But there was never any intention of that affecting the time he has with our son.
It depends whether, by money focused, you mean she’s vindictive. I would think they’re separate issues – you would want to provide for your kids (inc utilities), so as long as that happens, I don’t see how she could object to you seeing them. I guess it all feels very raw when your name is removed from a shared account – my ex recently removed me from his car insurance, and it hurt.
The posted guide is helpful, looked at it myself when I didn’t know which way to turn at first.
Karen