Just moved, twin babies, toddler, can't cope with life.

[RedSquidParticipant]

I’ve really been struggling with my mental health recently anyway having gone through a break up when I thought I was getting married and then having nowhere to go so having to stay in the same house until I found somewhere. And having an autistic 3 year old and 9 month old twin girls, I literally cannot see how I will get through to a decent future.

I moved house on Friday and just had my son stay so he can settle in. I’ve been exhausted all yesterday so not got much done, and today I feel even worse. Then got the girls back around 1ish and within ten minutes, I just feel so overwhelmed again. And that’s when my parents are here to help a bit.. how the heck am I gonna cope on my own?

• This topic was modified 2 weeks, 3 days ago by  RedSquid.

[SaralizbethParticipant]

Hey,

Noticed no one had replied yet so just wanted to say I know how you feel – that overwhelming worry about not being able to cope.

in the past when I’ve felt like that a couple of things helped me:

Being very honest with people around me, really using my support network and saying ‘help, I need you to listen to me rant and wail for a bit’

Trying not to be too hard on myself, basically accepting that the house may be a mess, I may look a mess but I’m good enough, and that in itself is good enough for now.

Are there local groups you can go to? some are supported by health visitors and are really good. Also, at the community centre near me, they have specific volunteers that give up their time to help families, even with simple things like looking after the children while you have a bath/rest etc etc, might be worth investigating. Safe Families is a really good charity that does the same.

Hope you’re okay, it sounds like you’ve got your hands full, but it will get easier

x

 

 

 

[SOLOMUMMYParticipant]

Splitting up is hard work.

Moving house is hard work.

Children are hard work.

Atm all of your life is hard work.

Once you’re settled in. Have a routine again.  Realise the perks of sailing your own boat without your ex things will appear and feel far less work. Yes they’ll always be demanding and a juggling act but it will get better. You’ve just got to hang in there!

Some months I’m like Superhuman managing to juggle everything,  others I’m surprised I get to work lol and I work from home! That’s how the cookie crumbles is now my approach to life.

Use your family to your advantage.  Use your mum’s organisational and cleaning strengths.  Use your dad’s happy to play with the children talents!  Perhaps even have half a day just for you away from the home.

[Ruby21Participant]

Those children will give you unconditional love and motivation to get through this tough time. Take joy in knowing that you will get to experience all the special moments with them. The house can wait, after my split I hardly done anything for 2 weeks, the days would just pass. But you will get stronger and feel better day by day.

 

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