Just given birth feel so alone

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  • #56580 Report

    Julezx
    Participant

    Hi guys, me & my partner split up during my pregnancy- he’s not been involved, hasn’t been consistent with our other child and he just doesn’t seem bothered because we aren’t together.
    Ive just given birth, at home with the baby and I have never felt so alone in my whole life. I can’t stop crying & I feel like such a failure 😣

    #56581 Report

    Cece1970
    Participant

    Hey, jules, I understand exactly how you feel, it is a mirror image of my own situation. Firstly let me start by saying how brave and wonderful you are, all what your feeling is natural, I’d be worried if you were not having all these mixed emotions. There isn’t a magic wand to fix this, I coped by feeling everything wholeheartedly, be it good bad or otherwise, if I felt to cry I did, if I felt to scream I did if I felt to laugh, I did.

    It does pass, you will feel better I promise.

     

    There’s going to be very painful

    moments in your life that will

    change your entire world in a

    matter of minutes. These moments

    will change YOU. Let them make you

    stronger, smarter, and kinder.

    But don’t you go and become

    someone that your not.

    Cry, scream, if you have to. Then you

    straighten out that crown and

    keep it moving.

     

    #56614 Report

    NickyBee
    Participant

    Dear Julez

    I am sorry it’s feeling so hard at the minute and I want to send a virtual hug to you and your baby.

    Please tell your community midwife or health visitor how you are feeling as they should be able to give you some local, face to face support.

    Sending very best wishes

    Nicky

     

     

    #56616 Report

    Hollyand6more
    Participant

    It sucks to be left to do it all, especially just after having a baby.  Personally I couldn’t understand how a parent could care so little for their kids!  I have 6 kids the youngest is now 7 but remember the baby times well!

    Always happy to listen if you want to chat and even meet up or something somewhere like a park or something of your nearby!

    #56626 Report

    Julezx
    Participant

    Thankyou guys for your kind words! I feel abit better today, it’s just so disgusting how he can just turn his back on us just because I don’t want to be with him.. like he’s doing it to get back at me. It’s horrible  because sometimes I wonder if I should just take him back to make our lives easier, but it’s not fair the way he’s been throughout my pregnancy and now towards our kids is absolutely vile & selfish!
    I just didn’t picture my life this way at all.. I feel like such a fool & it breaks my heart that my poor kids have such a looser for a dad 😞

    #56741 Report

    Sas86
    Participant

    Hi Julezx, I completely hear you (sending huge hugs) – I’m in a very similar situation and have the same feelings towards my ex. My baby is 2 weeks old now and, although I speak to my ex on the phone, I haven’t seen him for 4 months. Pathetic! Feel so let down and resentful at his hurtful disregard.

    I have times of just needing to cry and scream too and I worry about the future. BUT I remind myself that I’m the strong one and will do my absolute best to be the best Mum I can be. I also find it helpful to make a list of the practical things I will do to help my situation like sorting out maintenance and tax credits etc. Gradually I will see to each one, but it helps to swot up on how to apply etc so you feel like you’re getting prepared. AND I know that being in a relationship with my ex again is not what I want either so I have to move forward and this is a positive choice. It sounds like you feel the same.

    I also referred myself for Talking Therapies for my related anxiety through the NHS website. I got an instant referral for CBT as postpartum and have a weekly session – helpful to talk to someone. Perhaps it would help you too xxx

    #56750 Report

    Cariad63
    Participant

    I know you have a lot to worry about and from what you say I doubt he is contributing financially. If that is the case contact CMS ASAP, they don’t back date it so the sooner you contact them the better.
    If nothing else he should contribute to help you raise the child, it does not give him any rights to visit etc but it will help you, CMS sort it all out so you don’t even have to talk to him about it.

    #62819 Report

    Julezx
    Participant

    Thankyou so much for your replies guys, my baby is 4 months now & im starting to feel better – lighter even. For so long I’ve felt trapped being with him & now he’s out the house I do feel less stressed! I’m doing everything on my own but getting through it cos after all I’m all my kids have got! Xx

    #62837 Report

    Andrew uk
    Participant

    Julez, hope you both are well.

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)

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