Just found out that I’m pregnant…

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  • #44793 Report

    Magdalene90
    Participant

    Hello everyone..

    I’m new here, never thought that I will be in the situation like that..☹️

    I just found out that I’m pregnant… with a man who has a wife and two kids..☹️ We never wanted to be together, but something went really wrong when we met for a last time..☹️

    When I told him about that Im pregnant he start to push me to make a decision about abortion.. but I’m not sure how will I live for the rest of my life if I would do that..

    I’m alone in the UK, really affraid what to do next…

    I will be more than happy to hear an opinion from someone who was at similar situation as I am now.

    Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!

    #44808 Report

    Hi there

    I’m one of the moderators here at Gingerbread and I’m sorry you are feeling afraid about what to do next.  Hopefully it won’t be too long before other posters start chatting with you.  There has been a number of threads recently about  being pregnant and being by yourself so please try searching ‘pregnant’ on the search bar and you may wish to contribute on other posts.  Also don’t forget that you call our single parent helpline.  They will be able to help you to explore your options.  Here are their details:

    • Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline – Freephone 0808 802 0925

    Opening hours:  Mon 10 – 6, Tues 10- 4, Wed 10 – 1 & 5 – 7, Thurs 10 – 4, Fri 10 – 4  They can be busy so callers can expect to wait up to 20 minutes before the call is answered.

    Hope this helps, Justine

    #44817 Report

    thunderpig
    Participant

    Hi Magdalene,

    I know it is  scary time right now and not what you hoped for in life…. in this scenario, anyway

    …but a child can be a beautiful gift. a new life is never something to feel bad about

    if you want to keep the baby, the decision is YOURS and YOURS only, not the fathers. He has no rights to your body or the pregnancy and he sounds like an idiot, he doesn’t respect you or your body and is only concerned about himself – what a coward.

    you are strong, strong for reaching out, challenging him and strong for considering approaching motherhood without a partner.

    I am a single mother and spent the majority of my nine month pregnancy on my own. I did move back in with my parents though for their support. Do you have anyone in your neighbourhood who you could rely on to support you? Friends, neighbours or colleagues? The more people you share your issue with the more help you will find you may receive. I would also book an appointment with the doctor and discuss your concerns with them. And speak to citizens advice about help that may be out there for single mums.

    Sending my best wishes and love to you, you are not alone ,

    Lissie

    #44841 Report

    Magdalene90
    Participant

    Dear Justine and Lissie,

    I really appriciate you get back to me, it means a lot for me!

    Lissie, I’m amazed how strong woman you are, at the moment I cannot imagine myslef to one day be like you.

    Unfortunalety all family is in my home country, I came to the UK few years ago by myself to study and work. Not sure how they will react if they will find out..

    I have a lot of legal concerns, need to get in touch with citizens advice, but from the other hand Im scared of what I can hear from them.

    I really want to Thank You for your beautiful words, you make me feel so much better on this hard period.

    Im sending you lots of love and hugs!

    #44846 Report

    thunderpig
    Participant

    Hi Magdalene,

    I joined Gingerbread so that I could meet others going through similar experiences to me and I’m so happy if I can provide some relief to your stress. It is also reassuring for me that there are other women out there like me who are alone with raising a baby – because everyone I meet in person is in a stable relationship!! It’s very upsetting and lonely at times when I see women with their husbands and I am a single mum, just trying my best.

    I hope that whatever decision you make about the pregnancy is your own. I hope that your family will understand, after all they love you and they cannot be angry with you forever. It is a really scary step opening up to family about a pregnancy when it’s in unfortunate circumstances but won’t they will just be delighted that a new baby will be in the family? And if you don’t decide to keep going with the pregnancy then that’s okay too, it’s your body, your future and your decision . But I advise you to go with what your gut is telling you, and not what you think others want you to do.

    If you want to keep in touch through this, then message me anytime.

    Have a good weekend, try to keep calm and do some nice things for yourself. Pregnancy is a hormonal roller-coaster so try and stay in a positive frame of mind and love yourself . You are stronger than you are aware of.

    Stay healthy and safe, Lissie x

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