Just found out husband (yes, still nor dv) is having baby next month

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  • #40957 Report


    So. I was happily married till my husband of 9 years (together 15yrs) told me he wants a divorce. Fast forward, I spent 5 months in our flat being verbally and emotionally abused. Finally managed to get council house. Moved with my 8yo after spending 2 weeks moving everything while painting etc. No help from anyone except my dad ( in Norway) who loaned me money to do all this.

    ive gone from a comfy middle class lifestyle to being on benefits due to all this. Found out via FB that ex is with gf about a year and a half after we split up. Looks like they started about 6 months before I was told we’re splitting, Someone I know. He was very bad at seeing his son to begin with but this has now settled into a routine of every other weekend. In laws who were always kind have disowned me completely and are now with new gf.

    Today I got a text saying they’ve told my son they’re expecting next month and that he was very upset. So, didn’t tell me just to let me know my son is upset! Obviously this was a big shock as he never took to fatherhood easily the first time..and yet here we are. I’ve been honestly lost for words. I’m still in the middle of trying to finalise a divorce. Our flat is yet to be sold, we’re still married on paper. And he wants me to take on half the debts but none of the assets. I’m already broke as it is!

    I just feel right now there is no justice in this world. I have to tell my son weekly we can’t afford things he wants and the two of them take in more than 6 times my salary and now they’re gonna swan into the sunset wrecking havoc on me and my son. Not fair, is it?

    #41013 Report


    Hi ‘Meerkat’

    No definitely not. I have issues financially being a single dad. I have to pay out for my younger son (10yrs) whom I am hardly ever allowed to see as any kind of bad behaviour he shows is attributed to being with me. They live in a new build 4 bedroom house with two bran new cars, quad bikes, electric scooters etc. for the my son and his siblings to her new partner whom is an architect. I don’t begrudge having to contribute to my sons upbringing but this should surely be looked at on a more individual basis as I get nothing in the way of financial support from my teenage son’s (whom I have brought up on my own since he was months old) mother.

    Anyway don’t mean to make it all about me I just thought you should know you are not alone as sometimes that helps. You definitely shouldn’t be expected to pay debts for assets you have no access to, my ex wanted me to pay half of the car payments but took the car! I don’t get some peoples mentality although they probably genuinely think its us that are in the wrong.

    Its all well and good having a baby and playing happy families but if that is not his true nature it will come crashing down eventually as no one can keep up the façade forever.

    If you need to chat?

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