Just become a single Mum, hand hold needed!

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Ramblinjon 4 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #25044 Report

    Thegirlracer
    Participant

    Hi everyone!

    I’ve just created an account because I’ve just become a single Mum. I have a 16 month old boy. I found out that my ex had been cheating on me throughout the entire duration of our 4 relationship and I’m honestly completely utterly heartbroken. Because I had absolutely no idea what so ever.

    He’s moved out and at the moment I’m just going through the motions but once my son is in bed at night I feel crippling loneliness.

    I do have support in real life, amazing friends and a good job with lovely colleagues so I consider myself very lucky.

    Please can I hear your POSITIVE stories of being a single parent? Because right now I feel very down but I know for sure there are actually lots of upsides to being a single parent!

     

    Thank you x

    #25051 Report

    SoccerDad
    Participant

    Hi,

    You’ve come to the right place! I’ve found that my relationship with my children has improved greatly, and for the first time in years, I have the confidence to know that I am in control of my life.

    i was terrified of separating and being alone, but actually, when I really thought about it, a lot of people end up in this situation and then go on to find someone that they have an amazing relationship with.

    I’ve also found that it does get easier – even a few weeks after, it started to make more sense and the clouds started to clear. Now, I have far more good days than bad, and am looking forward to the future.

    You’ve got this – in a few months time you’ll feel so much better, take it a day at a time, and just note down any positive things that happen each day, no matter how small; I have a little blue book, and it’s really helped me “thinking on paper”.

    also, we have a Friday night social thread on here, feel free to join in – it always cheers people up and helps them feel a lot less lonely!

     

    SD

    #25053 Report

    Sherima
    Participant

    Ok I was on my own when I was 5 months pregnant .

    I went back to work when my little one was 10 months old. She’s turned 5 now and looking back of course time has gone quickly but I’m proud of my achievements and the fact that I took care of her whilst working at same time . No parents to.help out and I never felt sorry for myself I just got on with it . The times I felt low only lasted an hour or so but it went really well and I would tell anyone never doubt yourself . My ex turned up when my girl was 2 years old and I could not stop crying because I my love for him was the same and had never changed  . He met someone 18 years his junior & realised it was a mistake. He told me about her and I sent him packing and that was that !!!

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    #25056 Report

    Blossom
    Participant

    First just be kind and gentle on yourself you are processing so much at the moment. The adjustment period of going into single parenting is a bumpy road but it is a fantastic journey to go on, you will discover so much about yourself and Your inner strength will shine through and slowly when the emotions settle and you find your new normal you will love being a single mum. Keep posting on here as much as you need it’s so supportive. Go girl

    #25064 Report

    Liane
    Participant

    I was pregnant on my own with my son.

    I suppose my daughter carried me through that pregnancy.

    Find joy in your children. If not in them, in what you do with them.

    The loneliness is horrible. When I got my own place even though I bought a double bed I spent most nights on the sofa so that empty feeling didnt win.

    I also refused for years to have a telly in my bedroom. Its only recently that I’ve got one in my bedroom. My thinking being that if I tempt myself to stay in bed all day, I will. If its not there I’m forcing myself to get up, get focused and do something with the day.

    Zumba classes are great for a morale boost or getting information on local or open university courses anything that will prevent that empty yuck from taking over.

    Good luck.

    #25082 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    I think most of the joys about children are the same as when in a relationship although intensified, after all you become their entire world rather than it being shared with a partner.

    There is also cuddle time in the early evenings where you don’t have to think about a partner, it’s just you and your little one sharing some wonderful time together, which is something too easily neglected when you with someone.

    Liane, what you say about a TV in the bedroom made me chuckle (sorry), I find the whole idea of a TV in the bedroom completely alien! I do read in bed but a TV? No, no and more no!

    Mark

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