10 January 2018 at 8:57 pm #6753
I’m new here.
I have been a single parent since August 2017. I have two children, my son is 3 and my daughter is 2 and there are 11 months between them. I love them to pieces but sometimes I go days without a face to face conversation with another adult and this isolation is killing me. I am an incredibly social creature and I find this so hard and I don’t want my kids to be affected by our circumstances.
The relationship I had with their Dad was not a good one and when I realised what had been happening I went to the police. He was put on bail at his Mothers and went back to his previous lifestyle and is now back in prison. My case is still undergoing investigation and it seems to be taking forever.
Since, I have been doing my best to look after my children and keep the house running. I live in the middle of nowhere as I relocated to be near my parents so I have no local friends.
Christmas was quite good but one night my son woke up crying saying he wanted to go and visit someone as he didn’t want to spend another day at home. I feel so sad and so guilty, its too cold to go outside and soft play is difficult as I just can’t look after them both safely when there are so many children there in the holidays.
Through this whole experience I just feel completely broken, unable to trust people, or even the inclination to build new friendships. My doctor and counsellor keep urging me to seek out new friendships with other mums but I find it so difficult. I don’t feel like I can relate to anyone but I feel a constant need to connect with other adults.
I have plans to attend a Gingerbread group in the future but its the weekends and holidays that I find it particularly difficult.
Has anyone experienced anything similar or has any advice?10 January 2018 at 9:39 pm #6756
Thanks that’s really helpful11 January 2018 at 7:45 pm #6771
Nr Fakenham, Norfolk12 January 2018 at 11:24 am #6788
I’m so sorry you’ve been through all this. I’m going through separation foe the second time. The first time my kids were younger and it was harder to reach out. You’ve done the right thing getting in touch here. Sometimes just knowing others get how you feel is a huge thing. Search on the Internet for things you’ll be able to do around your kids, or take them with you. Moat of all know that one day soon, when you wake up in the morning this won’t be theirs thing you think about. I promise life will move forward. Sending a hug to keep you going xx13 January 2018 at 11:32 pm #6822
Hi im really sorry your going through this ..i feel for you because i have almost no friends where i live and i really struggle with anxiety and depression it has curbed me from going to groups with my 3 year old but now i feel like i want to try and be productive.
If you fancy chating you can message me 🙂
aymee14 January 2018 at 8:56 am #6828
I’m the same only I have some brilliant friends who have really helped me through it all. Do you drive? I don’t and find it very difficult to fill the time but I think planning the days is the way forward, that’s what I’m trying to do at the moment. Gather ideas of things you can do, either alone or going to local events etc. Maybe make a list so that you can all choose something when you’re stuck for things to do, that’s what I’m going to do. I also have depression and it’s very difficult to make yourself get out but if you don’t the grip is tighter and harder to shake off. The friendships will come when you get out and meet people.