25 October 2018 at 8:58 pm #17199
Just wondering if many people feel quite isolated as a single parent? I relocated to the town I am in, Andover, Hampshire, to be with my ex after meeting online almost 10 years ago. This time last year I discovered she’d been cheating and it marked the end of the marriage as stupidly I would have still tried to salvage it but for her it was almost a relief she was caught and could finally say she’d had enough. Fast forward a year and I’m now divorced and my old house is sold and for the last few months I’ve been renting a flat. I have my son who is 2 around half the time and I work locally full time. But the evenings I have spare and odd weekends I don’t have my son I feel a bit of a lost cause. When I was with my ex I was quite content going to work, being with her and I’d go back to where I grew up around an hour away to see friends / family every couple of months. Now the relationship is gone I feel quite isolated both on my own and with my son on the weekends I have him, as I have no family locally unlike my ex who now seems to be constantly with her family. I know a few people locally mainly through work but most are 20 years older and have their own lives most evenings and weekends with husbands / wives and their children etc. Not sure what the point of my message is lol. But if anyone fancies a chat who is also a bit lonely and wanting to chat a bit it would be nice to hear from you.
Adam26 October 2018 at 11:00 am #17216
Hello Adam sorry to hear you are feeling lonely. Try meet up groups. I use to go on the walks and theatre trips but there are lots of other activities where you will meet other people . I enjoyed it and will try to rejoin again..I work part time but went to work just for one day this week as it’s half term .26 October 2018 at 11:04 am #17217
Is that from the meet up website? I’ve not tried it but have heard people mention it. I will have to look into that. Thanks for the reply, much appreciated.
Adam26 October 2018 at 11:16 am #17218
I can only tell you what has worked for me getting thru an almost identical scenario as yours (except you can add in financial annihilation & autism too).
I go to the gym 3 – 5 times a week. I cycle to and from work 23 miles a day. I juice for breakfast and supplement. I campaign against vaccines.
This was the only way for me to cope with this injustice. You are lucky in so far as a son is easier to connect with than my 3 daughters (imo).
Regards26 October 2018 at 11:57 am #17220
Hi. I have just joined this site as I am struggling with lonliness. I have a 17 month old daughter who lives with me. Her dad only sees her every fortnight and doesn’t make the effort with her. But I am really struggling with the lack of adult company. I love my daughter to bits but when she’s in bed I suddenly become very alone. I suffer with anxiety so I don’t go to groups or anything which I feel guilty about but I really struggle to make new friends. Hence why I’ve joined on here!26 October 2018 at 5:25 pm #17234
Hi Adam just google meet up and it will ask you for your location so you see the upcoming events26 October 2018 at 5:31 pm #17236
Ok thanks Sherima and also thanks SullivanJohn for sharing your tips26 October 2018 at 6:10 pm #17238
When you don’t have your son, you could come and do park run on Charlton playing fields Andover on a Saturday morning
It’s a good way to start the weekend, and runs off the Friday night pizza nicely. Or if you don’t want to run, you could always volunteer. Always a need for time keepers & marshalls. It’s a good way to meet people.26 October 2018 at 6:42 pm #17244
Do you live in Andover then? I may have to try that some time. I have my son this weekend and always have him on a Friday night so I’ll have to see what time it starts as I usually drop him off with my ex around 9am on Saturday morning on the weekends I don’t have him, so if its after that I could look into that… Although my fitness probably needs some work and I have asthma so sometimes running is a struggle but probably that’s more an excuse with my lack of fitness lol26 October 2018 at 8:27 pm #17246
I live about 10 miles away.
Park Run starts at 9am so maybe not suitable.
As for fitness, there are plenty of us who wheeze along at the back 😓26 October 2018 at 8:33 pm #17247
I may be able to make it if I speak to my ex, sounds like a good challenge. I think I’d be definitely wheezing along at the back but would be good to meet new people and do something fitness wise.26 October 2018 at 9:28 pm #17249
I find these online forums a double edged sword… it feels good to chat from indoors but also worrying that you don’t know who is behind the screen. I’ve started to feel very alone during this year and want to do many of the suggested things here but find money, time and effort hard. The summer was easier – found kayaking and it was absolutely fantastic. I’d like to try the meetups mentioned but probably feeling unsure… also when kids not here want to sleep! I don’t know about others but I find it a really hard balance being parent vs time for me. Also just been through the courts and I feel exhausted.27 October 2018 at 10:09 pm #17264
Hi Adam, just to say you’re not alone. I ended my relationship of 12 years for the sake of myself and my two children. initially it felt like a relief. However I soon realised the 4 walls have a tendency to close in a little bit further every night. My ‘friends’ can’t be seen for dust and my ex sees my children when it suits him, around what he wants to so. So isolated is a feeling I know all too well. It’s hard, really it is. I don’t have any answers as this is all quite new to me but I’d be happy to chat and share experiences x29 October 2018 at 12:35 am #17278
..and I thought I’d join in on the not-so-helpful-I’m-in-the-same-boat message, but who knows where this would lead!
Just in the process of divorcing from my wife of 14 years and suddenly realise I’ve put all my attention to our family and my work and had completely neglected to build any social circle to speak of. now the occasional day comes when I really feel I need to get out of the house for a bit and realise I’ve got very few people I feel comfortable reaching out to, and those I am will be kind, but burdened. then I look ahead a few weeks knowing I’ll be alone for half of the week and am scared of those closing walls.
I like the idea of the run in the park too, although Andover is just over an hour away, I will probably opt to look for a local one…and I will certainly be coming last!
I too looked at Meetups, specifically thinking about rambling groups, but have not yet mustered the energy / courage to join. if anyone here is up for it from the Surrey / Hampshire area perhaps we can join forces….
Better still – we can make our own meetup 🙂 for single parents and their children29 October 2018 at 5:56 pm #17319
Thanks all for the replies, much appreciated. Hope everyone has a good week.