Isolated and lonely

[NELLY147]

I’ve just joined the gingerbread community following a recent separation after many years of living with my wife and 10 years of marriage.  I’m not even sure if I can post on this forum as my children currently live with my ex partner but I don’t know where else to turn to.  I’m back living with my parents over 20 years after I left and I feel very isolated and alone. I’ve lost so much although I can see the children.  People say take one day at a time and I know it’s early in the separation but this seems of little comfort at the moment. I would love to get in touch with someone locally who has or is going through the same thing to try and find a way to cope as at the moment there seems no light at the end of the tunnel. I miss the family life so much and it hurts so much everytime my children leave to go home.  Apologies if I’m on the wrong forum but as I said I’m new to this.

 

[Empty]

You just described me in November last year and to a large extent still now. Not back living with my parents yet, but that may happen! And I’m not yet seeing my children except twice a week on Skype after six months of nothing.

I know exactly how you are feeling (ish, cos everyone and every situation is different). I am in London. But regardless, PM me any time.

[NELLY147]

Thanks empty. After 26 years with the same person it’s so hard to try and imagine what life is going to be like now. I still see my kids but my life just feels like it’s been turned on its head.

I live in the Norwich area and am not sure if there is a local group I could visit to chat with people going through a similar thing.  Although I feel sad about the distress people are obviously experiencing on this forum it’s comforting to know I’m not alone.

[Empty]

https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/community/single-parent-groups/groups/?pp=10&geodistance=5&location=norwich&geolocation=52.6308859%2C+1.2973550000000387

check out the link for Norwich.

[NELLY147]

Thanks very much empty. I will look that up.

[Cherrytree]

I’m so sorry to here your in a bad situation I went through this over a year and a half ago my husband and farther of my 10 year old daughter left . I went through months of loss and loneliness  after 7 months I met someone else and was happy 3 weeks ago we found out I am pregnant only for him to pack up and leave me 2. The only thing that helps is knowing I’ve done it once and survived I can do it again and so can you. You are not alone !

[NELLY147]

Hi cherrytree, thanks for your reply but so sorry to hear of your own circumstances. I did reply earlier but don’t think my message was sent properly.

I think it’s a case that you think people won’t understand how you feel but it’s clear that there are many out there who probably do.

I personally find it so hard to keep the same thoughts from rattling round my head and along with that very little sleep. The only time these thoughts ease slightly is when I’m out cycling, something I’ve been doing even more of lately.  There has also not been any proper closure I’m my marriage although my wife has said the marriage is over. We have been apart for 2 months now and there appears to be no going back.

It definitely helps if only a little bit to read the comments on this forum and share a little of my own situation.

[Author]

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