Is it right to feel like this? How do I get help?

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum Is it right to feel like this? How do I get help?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 1 month ago.

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  • #34477 Report

    Liejhe
    Participant

    I have split with my husband of only 8 years. I have a 5 year old. My husband has been seeing another woman of whom he already introduced to our son. Even though I have only just filed for divorce. I range from hurt, anger, scared and jealousy. I feel that maybe this might be normal but I don’t know how to cope with the vast swings from one to the other in a matter of moments.

    How do I communicate with him about access and the rest when I all these things going on inside. How do I communicate with him when he knows how to deliberately pushes these buttons. How do I stop the feeling of just wanting to wrap my arms round our son and block my husband out.

    #34479 Report

    Tori
    Participant

    I think it’s normal to feel this way, I would be the same.

    Don’t lower yourself to his standard. If he wants to act like a child then more fool him. Stay strong and don’t show how much it’s affecting you when he’s there, you do have the right to ask him not to have her involved at this time as it’s to early for your son and could confuse him more than he already is.

    Put on your brave face, you are stronger than you think x

    #34492 Report

    StefS36
    Participant

    Hey…

    Everything you are feeling is completely normal! I promise. I’m assuming this is fairly recent? So still very raw and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. One day at a time lovely! One day at a time. Concentrate on you and your son each morning. How long did ago did you split up? He knows how to push buttons but this will pass, rest assured. But it will take time. Communicate short and simple. Getting into discussions opens up more discussions. You can do this!! You got this far xx

    #34507 Report

    Liejhe
    Participant

    I have lived if you can call it living in a verbally abusive relationship where anything I do and say is of little consequence and I have other people merits rubbed in my face at every opportunity. I had no voice in this marriage. He threw me a bombshell when I asked if we could get help for our marriage. But he said that he had been patient for five years and now he is repulsed by me. He proposed that as we both knew children who were effected by divorce and if I didn’t want to f… up my child he suggested that he would have his relationship and comeback to our home when he pleases while I look after the house and our child. He would pay the bills and mortgage as usual and my wage would still be used for food n travel.  He would allow me to have the four hours he has given to me from 5.30 till 9.30 on a Tuesdays to go and meet someone too.  He said this kind of separation was normal. He encouraged me to think about and take advice. What he didn’t realise is I did just that. Citizens Advice and I saw two solicitors. That was the 5th December.

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