Is it just me?

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  • #43341 Report

    SMummy2two
    Participant

    Hello all,

    I hope your well and staying safe!

    I am a single mum of two with a family around me who offer very little help, my children see their daddy every other weekend.

    I have to admit, I have noticed myself slowly becoming less engaged with anything since the start of COVID 19, I have worked from home all the way through with both children at home with no help from family, should I have opened my mouth and asked for help? I’ve put weight on, lost my routine in sleeping and my work is very stressful, the iPad is my nannie while I’m working and I can’t motivate to get out, mix of aniexty and the fact that I just have no motivation to do it … I have fallen into a awful rut!! Is anyone else experiencing this? On top of this I have an overwhelming amount of mummy guilt that all my children will remember from this time is a working stressed mummy, I look on social media of all the wonderful things people have done and think im an absolute failure!

    I get so frustrated by family saying why don’t do just do this is? Or should you not go talk to someone? Comparing myself again to my sibling and seeing how highly my mother talks of her yet she disagrees with everything I say or do 🙄

    Any natural suggestions to help me out of this funk! Xx

    #43347 Report

    Howisthismylife
    Participant

    Hi,

    Just wanted to reassure you that this you are not on your own in this.  My experience of this time has been very similar to yours.  I found coming off social media helped as realistically not many people are posting the negatives & I found comparing myself to others was unhelpful.

    I think re going out, as hard as it is you just have to be determined to do it one day.  Despite my anxieties & lack of motivation I booked a slot to go swimming last Saturday & we had an hour or so of fun & I felt much better afterwards.

    I have found, rather sadly, that very few people in real life understand & when people say “why don’t you just”  to me, it just makes me feel worse.

    I feel a bit of a fraud offering advice as I am still not completely out of the rut myself & have very up & down days.  Hopefully, sometimes it helps to know you are not alone.

    Take care x

     

    #43353 Report

    sirtobi
    Participant

    First thing that springs to my mind, is their father willing and able to help out more? You didn’t mention that.

    Second, it was a bad experience for most of the parents I know as well. We all struggled with homeschooling, work and keeping everything afloat. Having basically 24/7 responsibility with all our little treats and routines to make us feel better taken away. No pop in anywhere, everything locked down.  I put on four kilo and it took me more than a week to get my as moving to book into the gym after lockdown. Still didn’t go swimming with little one because it is more difficult to book than building an IKEA shelf.

    Most of our friends are back now but some have to quarantine and nothing really works at the moment. School starts next week and we are all waiting for the next catastrophe to happen.

    I hate this all and just take it day by day. We went on a day trip recently  but had to abandon the walk because it was only one way and a 10 year old doesn’t do 4.5 hours walking . So we just ended up walking an old railway line, visited an old cemetery and a church on the way. Two hours of driving. Man was I happy. But still it was ok somehow.

    So you are not alone in this and I don’t know any parent who actually enjoyed it. But I am sure there are some hidden somewhere.

    #43355 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    I became a recluse whilst working from home! My child was still going to school and I just roamed around in pj’s and looked forward to online food delivery so that I could stuff my face.

    I am much better since school holidays and we have had so much fun. I am now mtg others in  the park or the garden. I am so happy chatting with grown ups and not on phone or WhatsApp. I have lost weight since doing more activities each day. I felt like a big blob during lockdown but thankfully we have nice neighbours who we could chat to in the garden. We have done lots of day trip and I got myself sorted so that my daughter would have a good time this summer.

    #43357 Report

    sirtobi
    Participant

    Speaking of catastrophe. I just saw the guidelines for schools. This is worse than anything they have done so far. There are no classes in upper six. It is course system. Year group. 1500 pupils in his school. How often do they want me to self isolate on 13£ a day, when my running costs without any food are 35£ per day just for the roof over our had? . Eldest one is doing his A levels this year. It will be a nightmare. On average one teacher teaches 3 groups a day.  I don’t know how many math teacher there are in the UK but we might need them all just in our school.

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