Hi everyone, I’ve just signed up.
My son’s dad has made it clear he never wanted him, we broke up once he found out I was pregnant, and over the last five years he’s been in and out of hus life and I feel like it’s so bad for his mental health that I wish he’d just not see him at all. He has other kids who he sees much more regularly, even has overnight. He has never had my son for more than about 3 hours at time (and in that 3 hours he won’t pick him up so I spend over half the time walking between our houses so I get about an hour to myself) and so far he’s seen him once in the last 11 weeks…though has just asked to see him tomorrow. This late notice thing is really less than ideal too. When my son comes home he is upset all night, and for weeks after, he’s only five so I don’t think he makes the connection with seeing his dad and what it does to his emotional wellbeing, but he never asks to see him either or says he misses him. It’s so unfair that this can be accepted as reasonable behaviour by a father, all I can think is how long summer holidays felt as a child, and he is going that long, sometimes longer, in between seeing his dad. Also, I’ve seen how rubbish he was around his other kids when we were together, always angry and literally never did anything with them, they all just sat in a poky dark little room for days on end.
I’ve also heard he has a new girlfriend and he hasn’t told me himself which I think is so wreckless in a pandemic, he can’t suddenly widen his bubble (she also has kids) and bring that extra exposure to us without talking it through.
I don’t think I’m even looking for advice, just to voice the fact that I think it would be much better for my son if his dad wasn’t involved at all, and the guilt that I feel for thinking like that. I’m sure I’m not alone?
.
