Introduction – Court and access

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  • #22066 Report


    Hi everyone,

    I’ve been a single mum since May 2017 when my then husband walked out on me and our just turned 8 month old. She will be 18 months this month and since then he has proceeded with divorce (soon to be finalised), failed mediation and last month had our first court hearing regarding child contact.

    I have worked hard to ensure my ex has maintained good contact with our daughter since he left for my daughters sake. He currently has midweek contact for approx 4 hours, and an overnight stay Friday – Saturday weekly. We are going through the courts to eventually transition to 2 full weekends a month and an additional midweek overnight stay (though I’d prefer to continue with midweek contact rather than an overnight stay midweek). He also wants to share school holidays 50%, alternate Christmas and birthdays annually and has requested 19 days holiday entitlement with our daughter. To give you an idea of what I’m working with, he turned up to our first hearing with a barrister and a final order ready for me to sign with no intention of negotiation what so ever, in addition to a holiday calendar with all of the date she intended to take her away. My solicitor said he has never experienced or seen that before.

    It’s been draining to say the least, my ex has been uncooperative, emotionally abusive and controlling in the past and since seperation. He has had a new gf since October 2017, however he has changed his demeanour around me since court.

    I’m not really sure why I’m posting aside from a little whine to say it’s hard work, I’m tired, lonely and there are days (like today) when I could really appreciate another presence to give that support, (and a break).

    Massive respect to everyone dealing with their own circumstances.

    #22104 Report


    Hi SLM19

    Your situation sounds so similar to what I am currently going through although you seem to be slightly ahead of me.

    How did the first hearing go? Do you get a chance to discuss what he was asking for or do you have to go away and then prepare your response. I’m so scared about the whole thing and trying my best to prepare myself and work out how best to resolve this but my daughters father has also refused mediation and issued a court order. I’m terrified about my daughters future being taken out of my hands and have no idea really what the judge would deem as reasonable or in her best interests

    its incredibly stressful I know and hope you are ok and coping well.

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