In total despair

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  • #33343 Report


    two years post my ex leaving and I feel like things have gotten worse and not better.
    I don’t sleep, I’m constantly overwhelmed and I can’t see a way that life will get any better.

    he was totally cruel in how he left in so many ways yet he has been handsomely rewarded by life.

    I feel I’m in a worse position now then I was when he first went. At least then I had hope we could stay in our home and be ok. Now, having moved and knowing our life is not what it was and experiencing how emotionally and financially difficult it all is, is utterly exhausting and overwhelming.
    I feel in utter despair and can see no way out

    #33350 Report


    Sunflower, i’m Sorry it’s tough at the moment.

    Remember that what your ex tells you and what he posts on sm may not be true. It’s best to block anything related to him and move on. Focus on your life and your achievements. He ceased to be relevant two years ago.

    I think you need a rest and a change of scenery to give yourself a new start in 2020 x

    #33364 Report


    Hi Sunflower, I’m sorry your having such a rough time, perhaps it would help to speak to someone?

    SANEline – 0300 304 7000 SANE’s freephone helpline is open 16.30 – 22.30 everyday on 0300 304 7000 to talk about how you’re feeling

    Mind’s Elefriends forum is an anonymous 24/7 forum with an app, to talk about whatever you want to a highly supportive, lively online community:  TEXT SHOUT 85258  It is a 24 hour 7 day a week 365 day a year crisis text service, delivered by Mental Health Innovations.  A team of trained volunteers support anyone in crisis (texter is phone based, volunteer on a computer), and the aim is to help the person in crisis identify coping strategies and get them from a hot place of crisis, to a cool calm place where they can safety plan.

    It might also be worth having a chat with your doctor.

    Hope you feel more yourself soon.


    #33403 Report


    Hey sunflower,

    Sorry to hear about your tough time that you have.

    What I am going to tell you is just stopp thinking about what your ex did to you.

    Of course it’s really difficult, most of people faced with this situation but soon or later you will realize you made a big mistake about your ex.

    In this case you just loss your precious time, the time that you have to be happy and enjoy it.

    Two years is such a long time, it seems you were so close to each other! But he left!

    This is a point that you have to consider it; he left….

    Again I want to tell you it’s so hard but you must be so strong, things are getting better when you care about yourself, when you realize no-one is important to ruin two years for him.

    What I’m suggesting is keep yourself busy and avoid overthinking.

    Attend to any groups, no matter what it is.

    Do any activities that you like.

    Go to the gym or any sports club (I highly recommended)

    Take care and I hope best thing for you

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