In need of advice

[Kati]

I am a teenage mom who has been in an on and off relationship for the past 4years with my daughter’s father.we’ve always had trouble of being separated in the past by which he would stop visiting her.For her entire 3years of life we’ve only been in public with her as a family twice.For the past months he has been short with giving financial support.I was working so I chipped in with most expenses but now he doesn’t come at all it’s been 2months.I visited last week with her and he promised he would visit us after,he didn’t show,blocked me on whatsapp and wouldn’t call.I don’t know if we’ve broken up or not,should I still take her for visits?Even if it’s just to let her see her grandparents.Would it be right to let him stop coming all together and continue looking after our child alone and reach out to his mom about support for her?I am in need of some advice my little girl is traumatized by his behavior so much that sometimes she cries and asks me why he no longer visits her.what am I to do?

[Ramblinjon]

Hi Kati,

I can understand you being mixed up at the moment, your little ones dad really hasn’t been very communitive which is wrong of him.

It would be wrong for your little lass not to see one side of her family meaning the grandparents so if they are happy then it’s a great idea to keep visiting them, although support wise I’d be cautious, it’s their sons responsibility financial wise if that’s what you mean?

As concerning your little ones dad it seems that to him his and your relationship is over otherwise he would make an effort to see you not block you, obviously I don’t know his reasoning but it strikes me as being very selfish and cowardly the way he has treated you. It may be that if the pressure of a relationship has stopped he might make more effort with your little one but only time will tell, I wouldn’t stop access though.

Sorry I don’t have all of the answers.

Mark

[Kati]

Thanks for the advice Mark

[Pedromidlands]

my advice is similar,  don’t stop access , but be open (politely) that they can visit to the grand parents.

in my opinion they should be making an effort as well,  you don’t have to be a doormat!  they should make the effort to come over just as much if not more…

Do not stop the contact! There is facetime, what app,  Skype,  etc…

if the other side want to be involved that’s great news .

I personally would focus on you and your little one.

Looks like the father is behaving in an irresponsible manner , however, he’s not your responsibility.

I would consider speaking to social services as they might be able to assist with resolving financial support for you, the sooner the better as otherwise it could be viewed as “You are able to manage with what you have” , the cost of bringing up today is high.

well that’s my 2 bits worth.

Wish you and the little one all the very best

 

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