In need of advice

[gilo1973]

My wife told me she wants to separate and I am devastated. We have been together for almost 25 years and she and the kids are the only thing in my life.We moved about 10 years ago for my work and I have not made any friends of my own just husbands of her friends (we don’t go out without the wives).

I simple do not know how I am going to start again and meet new people as the only hobby I have is watching the local football team with our 17 year old son. Once he goes off to uni next year I will have absolutely no one – my family are not close (my brother doesnt even live in the country) and because I am the boss at work it is difficult to be “one of the guys” there.

There are no gingerbread groups locally (Epsom) and it appears most are aimed at divorcees with younger children so dont know where to start or get help with moving on. All I can think about is how lonely I feel and that this will get worse once I move out. We haven’t told the kids so I hope for a reconciliation but that is wishful thinking as she doesn’t have feelings for me anymore saying we have become just friends.

 

[Lindsay80]

Hey

Im in a similar situation, I’ve been with my husband 18 years married for 13 I met him whilst I was at university- I left my family behind and stayed in a town that I thought would be my temporary home.

I do have a couple of close friends but don’t like to burden them.

our daughter is 16 and I can’t move back home (it wouldn’t be fair on her)

We are only 5 weeks in and life hasn’t changed for him-we are still living together, he goes out to meet his friends, comes home to his “wife” and daughter

Im going to rejoin the gym- get me back out there doing something positive and maybe meet people?

Do you have a hobby? Or an interest you could take back up? Or start

Lindsay x

[Lorraine123]

Hi. Sorry to hear about your separation. I’ve been on my own for 18 months. We were together for 17 years and have three teenage boys. He now lives with someone else. It’s so hard to meet people as I’m either at work or home and all of my friends are married so have their own lives. What I will say is that it does hurt but it will get easier with time. Use this time to make any positive changes in your life. Do something for you, if you’ve ever fancied a new hobby then now is the time to do it. It helps to focus on something new to stop your mind dwelling on all of the negative feelings. Take care.

[gilo1973]

Thank you – its tough and I know that it is going to be tougher as I struggle talking to new people in a non work environment but I know you are right. I just hope the pain doesn’t last too long. The thought of coming home to an empty home and being alone at the weekend feels me with dread. At 46 I feel an emotional wreck and not exactly where I thought I would be in life but hope things will improve but need to find some get up and go. Not sure I can get this though whilst still in the house

[Lorraine123]

It will be difficult but everything is so emotional, it hurts so much to have someone you’ve been with for so long to end things. I know that exact feeling, I’m 41 and I really thought I’d be settled in my life not starting again. But you have to look at it as a new chapter in your life. Just because things are going a different way to what you expected it doesn’t mean you won’t be happy again. You will. But it will take time.

[gilo1973]

Thank you for your kind words. Just started signing for meet up groups so hope to find something to keep my mind off things

[Missy21]

I know exactly how you feel. The loneliness when there’s nobody around & my girls are with him is crippling sometimes. I have to be out of the house, can’t be here alone at the moment. Hopefully that will change in time, but not yet.

Meet up groups are a good idea, and we’re always here too. 🙂

[dragonfly83]

Hi there

I’m 8 wks in to my break up .. confused and totally lonely … He took off to Dubai .. for business leaving me with my 3 kids …

I’m so lonely on an evening .. during the day I’m on autopilot as it’s still the holidays

I don’t have many close friends as I’m isolated in the country side and it seems that no one wants to get in touch .. I dunno

I don’t know my life without him and I’m not sure where to begin

It’s just horrible

Please reach out and message if you want to talk – a message can relieve that empty feeling

 

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