In a stress with cafcass and court… experiences welcomed
16 March 2021 at 8:47 pm #51558
Been going the court route to get boundaries and set times in place due to the ex being unreasonable and still hating my gut 2yrs after I finally left an abusive 13yr relationship.. have got a hearing in April.. think its the fact finding one cafcass are finalising their report.. our statements are polar opposites so I’m worried about that. I’m worried about what court will rule.. hes currently seeing the children once a fortnight in my home. I go out and a friend supervises as he’s moved in with his fiancé and they’ve only been together a short while and I don’t feel it appropriate for him to see them at hers and nor do they want to as yet. I set up an email for him to contact me via as he would block me and harass me when he has my phone number. And he contacted me for the 1st time in a month last night and started off well and civil then he aggressiveness raised its head. I go out of my way so he can see the children in their safe place and I still get a barage of unpleasantness.. and cafcass have text today the want to call to discuss the care arrangements before they submit the report which has put the wind up me as as far as I’m aware nothings changed..
Help.. lol17 March 2021 at 7:19 am #51566
I think Cafcass are going to want to know why its supervised in your home. It seems likely reason you and your ex are at loggerheads is that he will be wanting to see his children unsupervised. How old are children? Its likely Cafcass will recommend unsupervised contact, so will want to know what you are willing to arrange with ex partner. Age of children may be a factor in their decision.17 March 2021 at 6:12 pm #51628
Cafcass were the ones that agreed to it being supervised in my home as they knew the children didn’t want to go to his current home, and he has no other place to go with them so I offered my home.. he has to be supervised as he says inappropriate things about me my partner and the situation to the children.. they don’t need to hear his venomous views about me. And manipulates them17 March 2021 at 10:56 pm #51652
You wont know what Cafcass will advise until you get s7 report back . With you being in early stages of proceedings a family court would be unable in most situations to force you to allow contact . This results fairly often no contact happening at all or indirect contact until final hearing. You offered supervised so cafcass would of agreed to that until everything resolved. I would imagine a SPIP course may be considered if appropriate which is a separated parenting information programme . It would be a concern if he hasnt got his own accommodation as he would be unable to have overnight contact19 March 2021 at 11:37 pm #51737
Its a crazy world,
The child arrangement is one issue. Firstly your ex-partner is not allowed to talk to you in an abusive manner to you or towards the children about you. The family court can instruct a ‘Non – molestation order; to stop him behaviouring this way to you. It is not a safe environment for the children to hear him talk about you like this when u r not there, they will feel frightened and confused. If he is still abusive to you and the children. it is not safe for the children to have access to him.
He needs professional help to tackle his abusive behaviour – domestic abuse group, and to tackle anger issues. The children may always be damaged by his subconscious behaviour. They may pick up this disrespect for you, and towards women. The children need to see and talk to a counsellor themselves.
He can initially access childcare via the computer in the form of Microsoft teams or zoom, to begin with. It is a more controlled environment, you can supervise. If he is abusive u can stop the video calls, and log his behaviour.
I hope this helps, thanks Katherine