In a state of shock

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  • This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by JBLA.
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  • #57595 Report

    Ladyl1989
    Participant

    Hi my first time on here, me and partner have split up and he’s left me and our 2 babies. We split officially 2 months ago but we were still trying to make things work he said he loved me and wanted our family back together. He has now said it’s over he’s happier without me has got a new social life and has created a new social media page posting lots of selfies. I gave up my career to be a stay at home mum and now I feel so isolated and can’t believe he has actually left us and doesn’t care. He left a family before I met him so it’s probably easy for him but I thought we were different and I’m struggling to cope.

    #57615 Report

    Rox80
    Participant

    Sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time. I hope you find the strength to move on and see that he has done you a huge favour in hindsight. Take time to re-find yourself and learn to trust yourself and your own better judgements. Learn to be a better you and focus on building a solid foundation for you and your children. Hopefully you will become a stronger person who learns to let go of the hurt and maybe you’ll be lucky enough to find a partner without bringing any of your past experiences into the relationship don’t let it turn you bitter or mistrust people, but certainly be cautious. If your ex is happy you go be happy !only you get to choose that-you’ll get though it 😊

    #57617 Report

    JBLA
    Participant

    Oh gosh… So sorry to hear about how he’s behaved… It is shocking!!

    Especially after you’ve adapted & given so much!! Sending lots of love & healing wishes to you. Even if he’s done something similar before, it’s no fault of yours that he’s continued… Please don’t blame yourself! We should be able to trust people & trust people to can learn.

    It’s just scummy that he’s mindlessly declaring his supposed happiness & pretending he doesn’t care…  I imagine it’s taking a hell of a lot of escapism to avoid the emptiness he must have inside after walking out on you all.

    Breakups esp with kids are hard & it’s alright to struggle, but you will & can get through this.

    It might not feel like it to start with, but he’s the one missing out, you can hold your head high knowing you are doing your best for your kids, as much as single parenting is often more graft… It can be the most rewarding too!

    One day at a time the rawness of emotion & shock will fade, things will get easier.

    You’ll find your silver lining in this cloud, it is entirely possible you can come out stronger & better off without.

    Empowerment & break-up books / groups can really help process & heal, no shame in counselling or needing a bit more support too. (Looking back I wish I did more of that in the early days!)

    There will always be tough moments, but there will be lots of moments you find your feet & feel stronger too.

    Do you have a community hub or health visitor? GP’s can be surprisingly supportive & good at signposting too.

    Ofc gingerbread helplines are great for advice & a friendly ear. Your not alone xx

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