Sorry to hear your going through this.
One thing I can say is as children develop they start to understand the world around them a bit more. My point in saying this is that your Son will/should be able to see your efforts in your life.
I think as parents we naturally want to do as much as we can for our children but usually they appreciate the smallest things! I mean don’t get me wrong a lot of children like flashy things but our role isn’t to be their friends but reliable people in their life.
You can only do what you can and from what you have said about teaching him to earn instead of just receive thats 10/10, as we all know in life you can’t always just receive there needs to be elements of working.
Eventually we all learn that money cannot buy love. My ex sees his teenage daughter every other weekend. He doesn’t even spend time with her. He spoils her with anything and everything she wants materially. He is absolutely dependant on her approval. She is growing to be a narcissistic brat. Her mother and my ex are in a constant competition who can buy better stuff for her. Her clothes are very revealing, she is quite tall for her age and chubby, everything spills out. None of them teach her neither manners nor appropriate dressing. It is all about status and showing off in front of her mates. My ex has the same attitude: buy expensive, have expensive. He looks down at anyone who shops at Primark or Shoezone or…. A few times I had to tell him off about belittling financially poor people. I know what poverty is and I know what having good things is, and yet I stay grounded. Money comes – money goes. I know the pattern.
I tried to share my views with my ex and his teen daughter, but neither of them have compassion or empathy towards the cheaper things in life.
So I feel for you. That lady of your ex-husband doesn’t really understand what she is doing. She wants to be liked and so she plays a long. No matter what, she will be the one who will hear being told “you are not my mother”. Cruel game children play thanks to adults. The real one to repremand is your ex-husband.
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