I’m pregnant and can’t decided if I should leave my boyfriend or not

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  StaceyHampson 2 months ago.

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  • #33220 Report

    First Time Mum
    Participant

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years, we decided to try for a baby at the beginning of the year and I am now 7 months pregnant. I’m so excited to become a mum for the first time, however my boyfriends behaviour is ruining my experience.
    he has always liked a social drink, however over the last year or so it’s been drinking a lot more than usual. He doesn’t know his limits and tbh I really don’t like “drunken” him. He has horrible hangovers and always lets me down with plans because he doesn’t want to get up and do anything. I don’t feel like I am a priority anymore, he really isn’t the same person that I fell in love with.
    2 weeks ago I told him he had to make changes in his life or he would loose me, it took a lot for me to do this however my baby does not deserve to be let down constantly. We talked through things, he said he has a drinking problem which led to him attending a counselling session. I was so proud that he opened up and I thought It meant he was going to make a proper go at being the man our baby deserves.
    This week he has been out 3 times with his friends drinking and not getting home till after I’ve gone to bed. Last night he didn’t even come home.
    I know that he needs help, but I don’t think I can be the one to help him. Am I a horrible person for walking away? Should I be supporting him through this for our baby? This is such a hard decision for me as I know who he can be, and I know that he would make such a great father to our baby, if he made the right choices.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated

    #33227 Report

    Lulublue
    Participant

    I feel for you! Reading that was like me reading my story with my ex, but he left for the first time at 6 1/2 months and again at 7 1/2 months coming back when she was born just to leave again.
    I can’t describe that utter disappointment and pain of feeling so alone! Knowing you’re carrying this bundle of joy and they don’t seem to have any interest at all! And drink and whatever else becomes there comfort and constant. Whilst you’re struggling to sleep, eat and your future well, it isn’t what you had in mind when you planned to have a baby together.
    I can’t give you advice, all I can say is follow your gut not your heart…. and when that baby arrives, they and your maternal instinct will show you what your meant to do for the best xx

    take care

    #33239 Report

    StaceyHampson
    Participant

    Very sad.

     

    I can only give you one piece of advice and that is to put yourself as your only priority because you need to be happy to raise your child with love.

     

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