2 May 2021 at 7:59 pm #53621
Hi! I’m new to gingerbread and a newly single mum after my husband of 20 years, together for 25 since school, left us. We have 5 children. 3 living at home. I’m finding it hard to come to terms with how he had changed. But finding it helpful reading some of the posts of strong single parents.3 May 2021 at 4:00 am #53625
Hi Kaze, welcome. Yes it’s very tough and traumatic experience for most. I focus on re-building life and moving on. spending time with the kids is what keeps me going mainly.3 May 2021 at 4:15 am #53627
Its really difficult most of the time tbh (which might explain why some ppl post msgs at peculiar times of day) but you just have to keep going and thank your lucky stars when you make it to the end of a day sound of mind and body!3 May 2021 at 9:38 am #53638
Morning All. I have just joined the forum today too. I am a mum of three (19, 16 and 11 years) – so an older single mum, and have been for the last three years after a marriage of a significant number of years ended. I feel similar to a number of people that have posted on the various forums, that whilst I have close friends – they are all with partners/married and often don’t know what to do with me ! It would be nice to have a network of people in a similar position/on a similar life journey.3 May 2021 at 2:30 pm #53646
Thank you . It is nice to see that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I have just found out that he is seeing someone and it was probably going on before he left and looking back she wasn’t the first. I have people around but have never felt so lonely.6 May 2021 at 10:51 pm #53834
Kaze your story sounds exactly like mine,I had been with my partner for 29 years since I was 15 we have 3 children together and he suddenly changed the end of last year.Lost interest in the children and our home life then started sleeping with his phone under his pillow.It got to a head after Christmas,he denied seeing someone else.we agreed to give it a few weeks to see if we could make it work but he jyst wasn’t trying and I was treading on egg shells all the time and I caught him out lying so many times so I told him if he didn’t want us then he needed to go.It broke my heart telling the children,he left beginning of feb he used to see the children 3 times a week then every other weekend,but his heart want in it.The children saw his lies and they lost respect for him and haven’t seen him for almost 6 weeks now.He is not the man I’ve known for 29 years.He messaged my older son about three weeks ago to say he had met someone,didn’t have the decency to tell me.I know it was going on before he left.Its just heart breaking everything you have ever known just torn away.Meeting someone isn’t even on my priority list as my children’s needs,happiness and wellbeing is my main priority.It has got really nasty between us now😞7 May 2021 at 9:20 pm #53894
That sounds exactly how my husband went. I believe it was going on before he left but he will never admit it.He came to tell the children but still hasn’t told our oldest. I said I would never stop him seeing the children but he comes whenever he wants, usually not on a weekend when he is otherwise engaged. It like a bereavement of the life I knew. I hope we get through this and be better for it.7 May 2021 at 10:58 pm #53898
It is so hard there are memories everywhere I look and it breaks my heart seeing someone that I have known inside out suddenly change in every way…It breaks my heart that my children have had to go through the upset and that they have had to grow up over night.
i hate that he hasn’t had to deal with all the tears from the children,he hasn’t had to comfort them through the night,he hadn’t had to see the effects it has had in the children.He just goes to work then straight off to see his new woman and lead his new life
I hate him for what he has done and what he has left us to deal with,I hope it gets easier but at the moment I can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.It is my children that keep me going,I just hate the evenings and am scared stiff at night knowing it is just me in the house to protect my children.
hope things get easier for you too Kaze,if ever you want to chat let me know8 May 2021 at 7:15 am #53905
Yes, my husband bothers with the children Monday to Friday, dropping in to see them. He never stays longer than half an hour but its the longest half an hour ever trying to be civil for the kids. One of my daughters has been poorly and off school for nearly 2 weeks. I was off sick after an op and she was with me the whole time, even slept in my bed then on the 13th day. He text to see if I wanted him to take her to the doctors so I could have a sit down. Hes a joke. On a weekend we don’t hear from him because his new woman doesn’t work weekends. Every one in our community knows now and I’m the subject of the gossip. Its going to get worse before it gets better and using the kids as an aid to get through is the only way I think . Hope you’re ok too.8 May 2021 at 8:28 am #53911
Your post seems to be capturing the same that I had to deal with – similar in terms of feeling like left alone to sort out everything.
I am a little further on than you but it has got
a bit easier , it takes time. If you want want to chat PM. Thanks