Illness and Marriage Breakdown
11 May 2020 at 12:45 am #39876
I was recently diagnosed with a degenerative illness the symptoms for which have been getting progressively worse over the last year or so. Five days after receiving this diagnosis my wife of 13 years left me for another man. Then the next day we went into lockdown.
I am currently still living in the family home, caring for my wonderfully strong and beautiful nine year old daughter and trying to hold down my busy and stressful full time job. I wish I could devote more time to her home schooling but it is so hard.
The lockdown means I have no support from friends and family. I am mentally and physically exhausted, my emotions are all over the place. This is a triple whammy of life events and I don’t think I can cope much longer. I wish I could get some help but I have no idea how. My wife still sees my daughter but only for short visits, I hate it when she is here and I worry about her carrying the virus as I know she has not been maintaining social distancing rules which makes me so angry.
Sorry, just using this forum as a place to vent. Is anyone else single parenting with long term serious illness? How do you cope?11 May 2020 at 1:06 am #39877
I am a single parent but not with a degenerative illness. However I can tell you that it is completely understandable for you to be feeling mentally and physically exhausted- that is a lot to be dealt in such a short period of time! I do believe if you were to search online for whatever your particular illness is you would most likely find some form of support groups that could be of use to you by speaking to others with the same condition as well as some informational websites. There perhaps could also be charities that may be able to offer you some help although don’t quote me on that as its impossible to say for sure without knowing the illness you’ve been diagnosed with. It may be worth also speaking to your doctor again and explaining your situation – despite there being a pandemic mental health is still extremely important and Doctors will still offer you whatever help they can. You sound like you’re trying to be very strong but there is no shame in saying you are struggling to cope and asking for help – plenty of both men and women have sought help when they’ve needed it. You are not alone in this. It could also be worth getting in touch with your daughters school and explaining your diagnoses and that you are going through a seperation. The school may be able to offer additional support to your daughter. As for the social distancing etc I believe that is a matter you need to discuss with your ex and broach the fact that you have concerns for everyone in the household if social distancing is not being adhered to. I hope this is of some help and here’s hoping you and your family stay safe during these worrying times11 May 2020 at 8:58 am #39883
My two cents would be, there will be ups and downs. Remind yourself when you’re struggling that there will be an up again. Keep going forward. Get as much help and support as you can, learn how to say thank you and not sorry to anyone who helps (if you’re anything like me thats a big one).
Venting at strangers on the internet is definitely a good start!