IDENTITY ISSUES

[NONA]

Hi all,

 

Hope you’re keeping safe in these crazy times.

 

My husband passed away in 2016 when my son was 1. Needless to say anything about the difficult journey. The only person that kept me going was my son and my mother. I was about starting a better job and make some needed changes in my life like buying my.own place.

 

Well my mom passed away suddenly in October and I wasn’t even able to fly for funeral due to COVID. I an in absolute mess and don’t know how to be.

I feel like an utterly lost person. I feel like i completely lost my identity with losing the most important people in my life. Any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated.

Love to you all xx

Nona

[Gummibear123]

Hi Nona,

Your story is so sad to read.I am sorry to read you did not get to the funeral.That might have given you a sense of closure which would have made processing this tragedy easier. I did not lose my husband but he left me and my kids when my youngest was 1 too.My father was the person who was kind to my kids and he died 6 months later.I found it very difficult to function.I was numb one minute,crying the next…There was no one left who I felt really cared and I didn’t have many other people I was close to.I felt kind of like I had lost my balance and couldn’t seem to find anything solid to hold on to.With time it did get easier but it is the most difficult in the first year.Sometimes it helps to talk about the person who has passed,specially for your son who must be around 5 by now,it will be important to keep your moms memory alive and that might help you a bit as well.I know people who have started support groups or do other kind services in memory of a loved one and it seems to help them feel a connection.I hope you start feeling a little better soon.Regards.

[steve3334]

Hi Nona,

we never know what life will throw at us. my Wife left 2 years ago, then it was family courts. then couple of months later my dad passed away. I would suggest you keep in regular touch with friends and family, and enjoy the time with your child.

[GingerbreadMichelle]

Hi Nona

I’m Michelle one of the Moderators here in the forum.  I’m sorry to hear what you’re coping with at the moment.  It sounds like a lot of change in a short space of time. It’s good to see you getting some support here in the forum.

There is a service called Cruse that can provide support with understanding and coping with grief.  I’ll put the link below:

Cruse Bereavement Care offers face to face, telephone and online support to those who have lost someone.  https://www.cruse.org.uk/ You can contact the Cruse helpline on 0808 808 1677

I know its a difficult time so I hope this helps a bit.

Take care

Michelle

[Author]

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