I will be okay won’t I? Having a wobble
6 January 2021 at 10:14 pm #47703
I’m just having a bit of a wobble and need some people to tell me I’ll be okay! Better than okay!
I left in November because of emotionally abusive behaviour. I know in my heart it’s the best thing. Me and the kids will ultimately be better without ex stropping about the place and questioning me over last of sex/attention and having grumpy moods despite sex being twice a week at least! And the fact he only showered twice a week – hence the sex frequency.
He got in my head yesterday… We talked about finances. He admitted he’s starting having sex with someone to help him feel ‘calmer’ about the situation (not sure what that means). But he told me that I have a rubbish life ahead of me .. that I won’t have loads of money or have the chance to Own an expensive house again. That he won’t have the kids to give me any free time.
Please send me some positive thoughts! I’ve been strong until now. I viewed a house to rent today and thought I’d feel excited but I feel nervous x6 January 2021 at 10:30 pm #47704
Absolutely you will be ok . His intentions were to get in your head, don’t let him win!
You left for a reason , think about the pros / cons and I’m sure you didn’t make this decision lightly .
I’m sure you will find some things a little daunting , that’s just because it’s the unknown, you will be just fine ☺️6 January 2021 at 11:06 pm #47706
Don’t listen Don’t listen Don’t listen. It Might take some time but you will do whatever you want to do.I did some of that and my ex and his friends hate it bc they’re Jealous! Terrifying climb at times but once you get there the views great.He s saying all that to make you feel incompetent and small.Only you can decide what you’re gna do but you can be as successful as you want.6 January 2021 at 11:48 pm #47711
don’t let people toy with your emotions like that. your not a doll. you should keep a distance as soon as you experience abusive/manipulative behaviour. I think you should just focus on yourself and your kids, so they have a stable and happy upbringing.7 January 2021 at 12:37 am #47723
Thank you for all of your replies. It means a lot.
I left for lots of reasons and as much as I don’t want to go back, I do sometimes worry about being on my own. The list of cons is way longer than the list of pros, it’s just hard walking away from 14 years.
I am trying very hard to focus on our kids so they don’t feel abandoned by him not wanting to see them. I think we’ll all feel better once we’re in our own place to live (however nerve racking that may be)
X8 January 2021 at 9:14 pm #47877
do not listen to him. You can see that he still is trying to control you and abuse you. You will be fine. Please trust your guts.
I am here if you need to talk. My so called husband left last year just before lockdown. It has been an emotional time, but i feel i am on the mend now. And focusing all my attention on my two boys.
Take care 💖8 January 2021 at 11:22 pm #47885
sounds a horrible, smelly bloke, you’re better off without him, it will take time but it’s worth it and you will love yourself for doing it, especially when you can look back and remember just how bad he was to you.9 January 2021 at 6:14 pm #47910
The familiar -however unpleasant-often feels a lot easier and more comfirtable.All beginnings are difficult.It takes time to look back and realize that.It’s scary to leave once you have kids so bear in mind you probably saw that as the only option.Try to concentrate on looking to a better future now.Stop doubting yourself….Only ever look back to see how far you have come.9 January 2021 at 11:20 pm #47934
Thank you for all of your replies. I definitely won’t be going back into a relationship with him. I have no love for him anymore, I am still grieving our relationship. Even though I can see all the things that were wrong with it. I have spent my entire adult life with this man and now I’m starting over. It’s scary, and it’s not helped by the fact he is messaging me. One minute it’s heartbroken messages that he wants to try again. A few hours later, it’s angry messages. It’s hard to handle.
He is standing by his decision not to see the kids. It’s now been almost two weeks. My poor children. I’ve told them daddy feels unwell. I didn’t know what else to say. They’re only 4 and 7, they’ve done nothing wrong.
I didn’t get the house. It went to another applicant. I’m devastated. It was a lovely house. Would have suited us perfectly.
Will keep viewing more and hope I get one sooner rather than later