I need some friends
12 February 2019 at 9:31 pm #21031
Hi Darren, I very sorry to hear about your situation, it must be heartbreaking and I can’t begin to imagine what you must be going through.
Loneliness appears to be a much bigger issue than I ever imagined. I thought I was quite unique but it appears not. In some respects that makes me feel better, but of course it doesn’t help with the fear of being alone. I am scared for my future and must find a way to surround myself with good people. This forum is good, but like most social connections in a digital world we are all still distanced. I so miss the company of my wife.13 February 2019 at 1:00 am #21036
Hey there Dadoftwo…..big thanks for sending me a reply. I honestly did not think i would get one. As im sure you know, it takes a fair bit of courage for anyone to post/admit on a forum that they lonely, isolated, fearful of the future and ask for people to reach out to them. For that simple reason i send you my respect. I agree with you that feeling lonely and isolated is a much bigger issue than i anticipated. the problem i think, is that is still seen as a bit taboo maybe, to admit you need help and support from your peers. Men in particular i think, ego, pride, being stubborn are male characteristics that seem to get in way. i would be interested to hear any thoughts you may have on this. We all need to tell ourselves on this forum that it is OK to reach out to other people. I hope we can keep a dialog going Dadoftwo, but like you, i am new to this but will reply/respond to anybody that takes that time for me….due to my non existent sleep pattern that may mean a day or so. as i am still trying to work out how to navigate properly on this forum. Again, big thanks for your reply.
Darren13 February 2019 at 1:10 am #21037
To Andy-C…i noticed you put your first post on the same day i did….so just a quick message to say hello, welcome you and i hope you are able to respond to me or anyone. I dont know what the nuts n bolts are of your personal situation but i hope you are coping as best you can.
Darren13 February 2019 at 6:50 am #21041
I understand mainly about being lonely,i can sometimes come acrass a bit shy. But i noticed that friends you may had or are still friends. That you tend to seprate or go different ways. Since i became a parent i noticed that it can be very very loney and scary. I now just make any effort with people. If people dont want to make an effort back. i just dont talk to them .i am a person that tells you how i see it.i rather have someone who i can talk and get along with and be happy. Its hard to find someone like that abd understands you.even you want someone to laugh with.13 February 2019 at 9:07 am #21042
Very Similar here as well
After 20 years together and 11 married my wife became very close to a male friend and then ending up kissing. We are now separating and I’ll be moving out.
I’ve never had a large friendship group or been particularly social and i’m concerned i’ll struggle to make new friends , seeing as he her was one of them and I had friends by association. Its early days yet but it does worry me was one13 February 2019 at 8:52 pm #21082
Well mate feel free to contact me any time….my wife has stoped contact with me and she has our 4 year old with her..16 February 2019 at 9:06 pm #21154
to wherenow, ashbarron, sci, thanks for posts, i hope you continue to post on this topic or another. i chose this topic as i do feel lonely, and isolated. also being from mars, it was the most challenging one….pride, ego and all that other male nonsense that gets in the way. but can i say a big thanks to those from venus who have reminded me that no feelings are exclusive.
D16 February 2019 at 10:30 pm #21156
Well was at a birthday party with my 7 year old boy today and put roller skates on for the first time in at least 25 years. I’ve been so self conscious and worried about what people thought of me that I didn’t do anything. So what the heck now. Didn’t really talk to any of the other parents so it’s only baby steps but slowly I might get somewhere16 February 2019 at 10:56 pm #21157
Kids parties can be brutal! You feel like you’re getting judged by the ‘it’ mum’s all the time.
I don’t let it bother me anymore, I’m quite happy with my life,I don’t need to impress anyone, it’s just about the kids at the end of the day16 February 2019 at 11:29 pm #21159
Dizzysmummy, you are so right bout kids parties. As a dad who takes his son taking turns with his mum who is friends with all the other mums it feels like you are unwelcome from the offset even in an amicable split as people form their own view of situations when they don’t know and make assumptions. Over time this has become easier after talking to one or two of them and then you find the go to parents initially and others tend to be more receptive then but initially the first few times it is absolute hell.9 March 2019 at 8:26 pm #21998
I am happy to chat if you’d like. A few close friends and family have been amazing but they must be getting tired of me going on about feeling lonely and that I miss my daughter. It’s good to talk to someone who knows.10 March 2019 at 12:41 am #22006
Hey to you Dadoftwo, hello to you and everyone else on this post …hi. I am a dad of two (in Yorkshire, other wise we would have a brew) and I can pretty much relate to everything and everything on that I have read on this post and I know how difficult it was to make that first key strike to make your stand… and that is what you have done, you have made your first stand against the position that you have been placed in. Well done you and stay with that, it is a positive thing!
You hide your pain and what you suffer from your kids and your significant other (and everyone else) and believe it or not it does lead you to the progression of getting through what ever your situation is right now. Please trust in one or two friends and talk things through to get a level headed response to what you are experiencing right now…. and the school yard thing (yaada yaada), like most have already said, ignore it because it will have been likely manipulated towards the one who has mingled and stood amongst the most.
Keep your head up and stay involved (pleasantly) with all that goes on at school and around your kids, it’s one day at a time my friend for now and then a week and then a month… and I think you get the picture. Try your best to keep your kids involve in their daily life (amicably is always best…but you will be tested!) and try to make a plan regarding the kids days and activities between dad and mum. Feel free to chat any time, the support appears to be great on this site so far and I like you have only just joined…and by joining (and sharing) you have already decided to lift your head and get on, keep it up.
Dad of two in Yorkshire.10 March 2019 at 8:42 am #22008
Hello, this is my first post on any forum & first acknowledgement that I am newly separated after a 25yr relationship (12yrs married, of which 7yrs my husband had an affair). I am mum to 2 boys (8&10) & trying so hard to keep my head above water for their sakes, they have no idea this is happening (my husband’s wish as he isn’t ready to tell them yet – I am). I put the boys first always, to the detriment of everything and now am in a proper pickle realising I have very few true friends (& none that I want to share this awful experience with- why would they want to listen anyway, everyone is so busy). I live in a very active town full of happy families (I am sure there are some who aren’t) and I really don’t fit in as a single mum. It’s never more apparent than at school run – luckily the boys are old enough to leave at the gate & I whizz off to work without having to get involved with the playground mafia. I am hoping when my eldest is old enough to leave at home I can join a fitness class to start feeling good about myself as I know this is key to survival. I am dreading the next year or so – I know it’s going to be hard setting up a new home and splitting everything 2 ways. I have to keep reminding myself to keep putting one foot in front of the other everyday otherwise I’d just crumble and be no good to anyone. Some days I have moments of clarity when I know there is a future and it will be ok and other days I feel Its all such a mess and have no idea where to start.
Having read all the posts here it was such a huge relief to hear I am not the only one going through this. I am always happy to chat with folk in the same situation (online chats are new to me too) and I will look at the meet app and if there are any local forums to me (North Essex).
Stay strong everyone, it WILL be ok!!!!!10 March 2019 at 3:03 pm #22016
I am exactly the same. I have days where I can see my new found freedom to go do what I want and be who I want but then others I think about what my ex wife and the guy she cheated on me with are getting up too and it’s tough. I’m in a flat by myself and it’s so eeriely quiet when the kids aren’t here10 March 2019 at 9:20 pm #22036
Think about what interests you. There are many classes such as creative writing or dance. Whatever you enjoy doing look into classes and meet like minded people. Everyone needs a friend. People don’t realise younger get lonely too.