I need help I’m a single mum of 3 and their dad refuses to see them or pay

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  SOLOMUMMY 6 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #22930 Report


    Hello everyone,

    i really need some advice, I split up with the father of my kids after 14 years 6 months ago. He’s a very controlling man and I had to end the relationship. However he blames me for breaking up the family and claims that he has no Interest in conparenting if he’s not with me. He doesn’t have the kids and doesn’t give me any child maintenance. The kids are a really upset as their 10, 7 and 2 and they ask if they’re going to see their dad but he always makes excuses about why he can’t see them. He has only had them on threee occasions since he’s left and all three times was to try and get back with me but when he doesn’t get what he wants he just disappears.

    Can I make him share parental responsibilities I just don’t think that he’s being fair for not having or spending no time with his kids.

    What are my options does anyone know because this situation really brings me down!



    #22954 Report


    Your poor kids. What a cruel thing for  their father to do.☹️

    Your ex should contribute to your children’s upkeep so if he refuses to do so, contact the CMS – who can deduct money from his salary at source.

    unfortunately, someone can not be made to see his children. I understand why you want to encourage their relationship but if he doesn’t want to , he can’t be forced.

    I’d stop chasing him. Put in a CMS claim for maintenance and respond to him only if he is polite and respectful. Otherwise ignore him.   Anyone who would do that to his own children is not worth the bother.

    I hope it works out.

    #22955 Report


    You cannot force anyone to parent and see their children.

    Tbh given how he is and the obvious negative effects this is having on the children, I’d argue that probably right now you should focus less in him seeing the children as that won’t make him be a constant parent, he needs to have that desire to be consistent.

    You can however focus on helpibg them to process the situation.

    I would go directly to the CMS and claim maintenance as there’s no excuse for him not contributing financially.


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