I need help.

[Loulou11395]

Hi all,

This isn’t something I’ve done before, but I need someone to speak to.

After 11 years together, 4 years married, my husband decided to move out just before the November lockdown kicked in.

I don’t even know what else to say really, my head is such a mess. He says he’s going to come back, that he just needs time to get his head sorted out. I’ve tried so so hard to be supportive as there are other things going on but this really isn’t what I want. I’m really struggling. Because I feel like he’s just stringing me along, he keeps promising me he’ll come home, but honestly how long do I wait? And am I waiting for nothing when I really could be moving on and healing. Today I gave him a date, and said if he’s not back by then, the marriage would be over.

We have a nearly 3 year old daughter, she’s beautiful and amazing. But I’m finding it hard to even focus on her right now because I’m too busy trying to fight the darkness in my mind. She is the most important person in my life and she is what matters more than anything. But how can I show her how to be strong and independent when I’m a total mess?

I just don’t know what to do anymore. Every day i face a constant battle to just make it through, but it’s getting harder.

I have nobody I can speak to. And I don’t even know if doing this will help me but I must try for my daughters sake.

Thank you for reading.

Lou

[steve3334]

hi,

how long has he been away? I don’t know how some others do it, they stay separated 2 years, 5 years! I don’t have the patience for that.

[Loulou11395]

It’s only been a few months now. I definitely wouldn’t wait for two years.

[Lulublue]

I think you’ve done right by giving him a date.
it’s hard and even though I’ve not been in your position. I tried to force my childs dad to be a dad, someone who really didn’t want to be. I gave him a date to sort himself out and when he didn’t  I asked him to contact mediation,  he  refused and made my life hell for a while. It was awful
it was really hard, I found myself questioning how I could get up in the morning and be a good parent, how could I even smile…. but somehow you just do!
2 years later I’m having the best time with my daughter, still no effort to contact mediation or a real want to see his child.
so what I’m saying, is, it’s hard but wasting time and effort on someone who strings you along is futile and the longer you try, the longer you stop yourself from healing and enjoying life to the full. Sometimes being selfish and putting yourself first is the best thing you can do 😉 xx

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