I need friends desperately

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    hi all don’t know if I’m in the right place, but I’m lost,  so lonely and finding it really hard to carry on

    in the past 5 years I’ve lost a 15 year relationship and two amazing boys which I only see every other weekend, my dad died just before who has been ill since I was born and probably held our small family together, not long after that my sister, brother in-law (best mate) and two nethews emigrated to oz, just me and my mum left

    found someone I truly loved and adored and allowed my self for the first time in 20 years to get so close to who had 2 boys…again…nearly 4 years ago and moved to Beverley to all live together where I know nobody, been struggling all my life with ocd and intrusive thoughts-trusting others and anxiety/depression  and it became obvious when we were all trying to start living together

    she moved out 5 months ago but we’re still together?? Don’t blame her because I hate the ocd myself but even more how it effected her, I blame myself as I know it’s me and hate myself for it…it’s like the tap 20 times but with thoughts, doubts, self destruction etc and becomes obsessive and has ruined my life

    Then she ended it between Christmas and new year-total radio silence, sounds bad and I’m sorry if it offends anyone but it feels like her and her 2 boys have been wiped off the planet

    5 weeks later I’m where I am now, stuck in a house I don’t want to be in and full of memories and in a place I don’t want to be in full of memories with no friends at all and the good old oc…ing d

    they say ocd is the lonely illness and it’s so true..trust me…and with all this on top Im about as lonely as it gets


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