I just don’t no what to do

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  • #54324 Report

    MentallydrainedMum
    Participant

    Hi I never thought I would be doing this but I don’t feel I have anybody to talk to who will support or understand me, atempts to reach out has just shown negative comments or brushing off.

    I no there are many people in my situation and I think it would really make me feel so much less lonely and lost if I could connect with somebody who can relate and wont judge.

    I have 3 children ages 6, 4 and 1 years old I’m a single mother with contact with one of my children’s dad my other kids dad put me through hell mentally causing somewhat of a mental black whole and barriers up that I can’t seem to bring down. My youngest sons dad has gambling and drink addictions this doesn’t always leave me with money or in good situations as well as the struggle of bringing up 3 children on my own.

    I never have a break sometimes I wish I could just dissappear cuddle up in a ball and allow my mind to just heal, to just stop feeling and have quiet and alone but I can’t I love my children and they are my reason for breathing but sometimes I wish I could have a bit of support.

    I don’t no if I’m coming or going sometimes I’ve lost my confidence, self esteem and struggle to care for myself however I never let that effect my children they won’t go without.

    I deal with allot of stress depression and anxiety and I dream of feeling like myself again like a capable human being.

    Thank you so much for listening

    #54326 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    Hi MentallydrainedMum

    A lot of people on here never thought they would be airing their worries on a public forum even tho it’s anon.But for everyone at some point it’s got too much and they’re not getting the advice or support they need from those around them.It’s sad how common it is and how many people feel so alone. You seem to have it very complicated.I have 4 kids and can barely deal with the 1 man in their lives,no wonder you feel drained.You sound like a good person from your post doing the best you can for your kids but sometimes I have found having no break at all and being avl 24/7 for the kids has been a false economy.When I’m worn ragged i’m not much use to them.Is there any way at all you can get a bit of peace to sort out your head? Maybe if the other 2 are in school you could get a couple of hours babysitter for the baby a couple of times a week? you could have a bath or even do nothing! You’ll feel like a new person.I know little kids can be so needy,you can feel totally depleted after a bit! I hope you can sort something fo for yourself,you are their stability- your the most important,but we forget that…

    #54356 Report

    MentallydrainedMum
    Participant

    Hi gummibear123

    I unfortunately don’t have enough of a support group for anyone to take care of my little one while the kids are at school I can’t even have a bath if it lasts longer than 5 minutes because even if my sons dad was watching him he doesn’t want to watch him for very long intervals and moans my mum lives 20 miles away and even when asked she doesn’t seem to want to look after the kids her attitude is she’s had her kids and done her time of it, unfortunatly this leaves me rather stuck also I can’t even vent to family or friends as it seems to cause problems this is why I’ve turned to here where nobody noes me and I can have the freedom to talk and maybe that will offer me some peace

    #54360 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    😚sorry but I think we must be sisters….my mum said, “I’ve done mine… ” whenever I used to ask her about anything baby related! I soon learnt to stop bothering😐 I understand about having literally no support as well.Your only resort might be to pay a babysitter,even if it’s just for an hour or so in your own house! Unless you can get s1 you trust to take ur baby out.It often irritated me that people don’t understand that when you have no support you have to pay every step of the way.I hope you manage to sort something out though.

    #54361 Report

    Pokemon981
    Participant

    Hi MentallydrainedMum

    I truly understand how you feel.  Being a single mum is hard enough, but also having no support network is even harder.  Most of the people I know have loads of family and good friends who live nearby who help with each others kids.  I have a 4 year old but no family at all nearby who could have my son for even 10 minutes.  I have a few friends but my son refuses to stay at anyones house without me being there.  I live with my mum but shes too elderly to look after him and to be honest he doesn’t even go to her let alone stay at home with her for 10 minutes while I pop out.  He follows me everywhere.  To make things worse he hasn’t even settled at nursery (he is under medication which complicates things).  He doesn’t know how to play by himself.  I know what you mean about baths.. my son still has to follow me into the bathroom even for number 1s and 2s.  I am in despair just like you.  I love my kid but without a support network life becomes impossible.  I see other mums with their hair done nicely yet here I am looking a mess everyday even when my child is 4 yrs old.  Having no one to rely on is the hardest thing – you have to do everything by yourself.  When you talk to others yes you end up getting judged, people start criticising your parenting, or assume you have brothers and sisters or grandparents to help.  They take their support networks for granted.  I’m sorry to hear about your kids dad situatiion.  I am also dealing with the financial side all by myself.  I don’t get even 5 minutes to myself my son is constantly

     

    #54362 Report

    Pokemon981
    Participant

    Sorry pressed submit by mistake, but yes basically i understand truly where you’re coming from.. i can only say that I feel for you, and pray that you find some kind of sanity for yourself, some time.  I myself am waiting for the day my child starts full time education only then will i get some kind of peace. x

    #54365 Report

    MentallydrainedMum
    Participant

    Things just get so difficult my sons dad calls me useless and says I’m a no it all for example currently my 1 year old is unwell with a cold and temperature I worry he has a chest infection so I rang the doctors who put him on penecilin, my sons dad and uncle have an allergy to penecilin I raise my concern and worry to the Dr saying this and worrying if my son may be allergic to it to they reassured me it’s not a hereditary thing and to keep an eye on him trusting the doctor I gave him penecilin my son is still poorly baring in mind he has only had one dose this has resulted in my sons dad saying I’ve poisoned him and I’m just a know it all I can do anything right I fee like giving up I’m starting to feel I am useless and what is the point of me I feel like breaking down I have a cry because my son being poorly and is taking its toll all mothers do it just for a bit of release yet I’m called useless for it my older sons have to no where I am and what I’m doing all the time im sorry for rambling

    #54367 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    Don’t be silly,how can you be ‘useless’ -of all things to call you- bc you’re looking after your child?! Quite the opposite.Haha some exes are laughable aren’t they? I suppose I see the joke bc i’m not stuck in it like you are,but seriously,please don’t be upset: I think the dad’s are just feeling incompetent and a bit useless themselves so they’re projecting that on to you.You keep on doing your best.Of course you’re worried about the penicillin,I have a sister who has an allergy to that and chemists always ask first bc it’s important.It’s just harder for you bc you have more than one resentful,bossy male to deal with.Gosh I really feel for you.

    #54403 Report

    MentallydrainedMum
    Participant

    Thank you it is very draining sometimes and makes me feel so many negative things I feel I’m in a whole sometimes Im the one doing everything for my children I bath them change nappies feed them whereas they do nothing never done night feeds don’t even no how to make a bottle but can throw judgment how messy the house is when he’s throwing rubbish around and I’m picking up after eVrything no respect appreciating nothing

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