I just cant be bothered
28 July 2019 at 3:08 pm #28431
I am 25 and have a 1 year old son. I had postnatal depression and I guess I thought I was “cured” as someone put it, but I guess not. For the past 2 weeks ive been having strong feelings of guilt and that im not good enough. I feel so worn out and tired of everything. Im tired of playing, tired of cooking, tired of cleaning, tired of breastfeeding, tired of trying to lose the weight. I just really cant be bothered. I feel so lonely and im constantly stressing about my career and how I want a better life for my son. To top it all off, for the past 2 months ive been living in a one bed flat with my son and my mum who has to sleep on the sofa. Ive tried anti-depressants, ive tried talking but I always seem to have good spells and then fall right back into this feeling of loneliness and sadness. Does anyone have any advice?28 July 2019 at 7:46 pm #28441
Sometimes those feelings are really good.
The worst conception of any mental health problem is that your just going to be cured.
I’ve done talking therapies regarding the situation i found myself in and it hate the cliched ‘8 week’ therapy course; like at the end theres a certificate and magic wand and tah dah your cured.
Life is long, the majority of us hope. Its that big rollercoaster where just as you think you’ve got it theres a dip, or a rise, or another twist or turn.
Sonetimes its good to go with this.
Your sons 1 aswell so psychologically your preparing yourself to let go. Is he in nursery yet??
Breast feeding makes your weight and eating pattern fluctuate anyway and sometimes pills cause the problem to be exaggerated more.
Try going out. Your local library will have free groups that you and your son can attend as would any local faith group or community centre. Socialise.
I went to a 0-1s group with my eldest. It was in a pub and hosted by a health visitor. There was about 10 of us all with babys the same age discussing breast feeding, teething, sleepless nights. Socialising can really help. Your health visitor or nurse should be able to tell you about groups in your area.28 July 2019 at 8:26 pm #28448
Pretty much everything you’ve said is normal and it does get better. I know of a few organisations that may be able to help though.
Family Lives provide general support to families on issues around parenting, emotional support and just generally coping as a parent https://www.familylives.org.uk/ 0808 800 2222
Mind 0300 123 3393
Shelter 0808 800 4444
Shelter isn’t just for the homeless and can give advice on all housing issues. Mind will give advice, support and guidance.
Hope this helps
Mark28 July 2019 at 11:41 pm #28461
It’s not that you can’t be bothered. You have a hard situation to deal with, added to which you seem to have PND. I’m not a doctor or psychologist. But I can try and reassure you that you are absolutely not alone and that there are many others feeling the same.
You have brought your child and yourself this far. You have done some seriously hard work to do that. This is an amazing thing for any human. To continue on when you feel like giving up- that makes you a super hero.
I urge you to seek help from the above. Nobody needs to struggle on with something that is a normal way to feel. Support and help is out there and on here.
Always.xxx29 July 2019 at 8:35 am #28468
First I want to thank you guys so much for the advice and words of wisdom.
Im not sure what the outlook on mental health is like in other cultures but in mine its not really seen as a thing and its either brushed off or you are told that yes its hard but deal with it, so my mum has been the only one to support me and I think i pretended to be okay because I didnt want my family to see me as weak or still a child which they still do.
My son isnt in nursery yet because its only been me and him and I was scared to let someone else watch him, but he will be starting in September.
I did start going to baby groups for around 3 months but because i am so selfconcious, I felt like everyone was judging me for me size and having a shaved head (as it fell out whilst i was pregnant and has barely grown since). I know its stupid because we were all new mums but I couldnt help thinking like that.
Ive also not had a health visitor since May when I moved. They keep saying they’ll send someone but never do so I gave up.
Thank you so much, ill check out the sites.
Ive gone to Sheltee already and there isnt much they can do for me unfortunatley.
Yeah I had a chat with my mum last night and I think I will go back and get some help because I dont want to continue like this.
I think I forget sometimes that yes I did raise my son alone and I have done a good job. Its just hard to acknowledge it sometimes so thank you.