I hate our home

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Kellyjay 2 weeks ago.

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  • #32350 Report

    Sunflowerpup
    Participant

    my child and I had to move. We used to live in a 4 bed house, but when my ex left there was no hope of me getting to take the house on and so we are now in a tiny house. We really are lucky to have a home but I struggle to be happy here. I’ve tried various things – decorating and changing things around but I just can’t seem to get the living space to work for us. I dread coming home at the end of the day but can’t afford to move. What can I do?

    #32353 Report

    GirlFriday
    Participant

    Hi,

    Whilst I wouldn’t say I hate my house, like you I was in a 4 bedroom detached house of my dreams before exh found OW and I had to sell up. Me & youngest DD in a 2 bed end terrace now and muddling through. My Dad put my photos up last week and that made me feel better, I sometimes struggle to think of it as home but am trying to make the best of it for both of us. It was important to me for us both to have our bedrooms how we wanted & this is now complete.. my parents have been my saviours, fillering, painting, tidying and much much more. My daughter didn’t want to rent & financially I needed to buy now but I do sometimes wonder if I have made the right decision. I do however like having something that’s ours. We have a 4 month old puppy who joined us at the end of Aug and he brings us so much joy I wonder how we managed without him! He is the cement holding our family together & DD told me that she didn’t know what she would do without us both which was lovely to hear.

    I can’t offer any magic ideas but it was the photos of my girls which have made my house my home (my eldest DD is 20 & lives with her bf) .. We are tentatively talking about xmas, it’s still raw for me but DD has decided we are going to Nannas xmas eve til Boxing Day I just need to try n go with it for her.. it’s v different when they are not little any more she is 15 now.

    take care & give yourself time I am only separated 14 months, the house move happened v quickly & the divorce shortly after so talk about upheaval!

    x

    #32385 Report

    Sunflowerpup
    Participant

    Thanks so much for your reply. It was similar circumstances for me. I was in my dream home and then my ex decided another woman would be a better option for him. I loved that house and we were forced out. I’m pleased this house is mine and he has no claim on it and that is a positive.
    I do feel we are lucky. I’ve had to do a lot of work here – it really was a slum for quite a while and my family have helped as best they can, but my parents are elderly and my dad can’t paint anymore because he can’t grip properly so I’m having to do more now. It dies look so much better, I just feel very claustrophobic here. It’s like we are penned in. In my old home I didn’t mind if we didn’t go out at the weekend, now the first thing I want to do is go out.

    i enjoy cooking and I find it hard that I have the smallest kitchen imaginable and there’s no option to increase the space.

    We lost our dog too just after we moved. She is very missed, but financially and with my change of work that the divorce brought, it’s now not possible for us to have a dog.

    im glad you have your girl with you for Christmas. My boy is with me this year. Last year was so hard not having him with me on Xmas day. It’s grossly unfair that because my ex chose a better option that’s allowed. On my first Xmas as a solo mum I invited the ex over. He declined. My boy would be happier if we were all together in Xmas day so it seems like every Christmas he is punished too.

    im hoping to get a friend to put a curtain pole up in my lounge as I think the curtains will make it look better. It’s these little bits I try to hang onto!

    #32386 Report

    Kellyjay
    Participant

    Can you think of your home as a stepping stone to a new life? New you? New outlook? New lessons? New relationship? New puppy?

    Just because it didn’t work out as you planned. The rest of your life is your opportunity to be the best! It’s all a test! Go smash it ☺.

    Your forever home awaits 😍

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