I feel like such a bad mum

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  • #14936 Report

    Mommyloveshergirl
    Participant

    Hi everyone

    Hope everyone is well I just need a bit of advice pls, I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now but things arnt going well, last weekend he had his children and my and child and i went to his to have a sleep over, my child is only 2 and so wouldn’t sleep without their mummy, his kids bed time routine is different to my child’s they have the television on and lights on my child doesn’t they have a story then lights out and bed, be couse they wouldn’t sleep he went off on one saying o was doing everything wrong as he has 2 kids he knows what he is doing, he reduced me to tears, then when I told him why they wouldn’t sleep told me I just using that as an excuse and that my child wasn’t scared they where just trying to get their own way, his now moaningcouse I haven’t been near him since and says I’m the one spoiling everything. Where supposed to be going away for a week next week and i really don’t feel like going as I don’t want the constant put downs I’m getting at the moment what should I do I’ve tried calling to him he says what I’m saying is a load of rubbish and won’t listen

    #14940 Report

    Luce790
    Participant

    My nearly 3 year old still comes in with me at night (and my eldest did too at the same age). It’s completely  natural, so don’t let him make you feel that it isn’t. He has no right to make you feel bad. I’d seriously rethink going away with him. Someone who makes you feel bad about yourself isnt someone you need to spend time with. Take care x

    #14961 Report

    Mommyloveshergirl
    Participant

    Thank u I did think that myself I’m just so scared of  him he has a bit of a temper u see his never hit me or  anything like that it’s just what he says he will make my life difficult

    #14965 Report

    Luce790
    Participant

    Can you speak with women’s aid? They can help and advise you. He doesn’t have to hit you or be physical for him to be abusive. If he is scaring you through what he says and how he makes you feel, then that is abuse too. I think you need to get away from this guy… It doesn’t sound healthy at all xx

    #15100 Report

    Swardgraecy
    Participant

    Do not ever try to control anything taking it back or giving it away should not ever be a thing.

    That is a deathbed of all connections.

    Mutual understanding and mutuel respect is the way of doing things.

    If that is not there than you may take your leave.

    If the communication is dead and you cannot work things out without anger nad tantrums than leave.

    If it was your marriage I would say try and work things out,try and find a common ground and change the way you Guys live, try to find the way back to that first love that brought you Guys together at the first time.

    But it is not that situation.

    #15101 Report

    Enfys
    Participant

    Hi Hun, what did you decide? Just wondering how things are going for you now. My daughter is almost a teenager but I can identify with what you’ve said. Happy to chat if you like.

    #15229 Report

    EmG
    Participant

    I have to agree… from personal experience his actions are a huge red flag. Please don’t settle for someone like him. If he can make you feel like that in the early days then I’d get out now.

    Sorry to be so blunt but having gone through similar I have learned the hard way and if my words help you then at least I’m helping someone else.

    Please let us know how you are & hope you are ok x

    #15279 Report

    Mac1
    Participant

    Hoping you have ended this relationship; sounds like you’re doubting yourself and ignoring what your gut is telling you.

    #15284 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    Honestly get rid of this man! You need to put your little one first. He sounds like an aggressive controlling man to me!  My little one has 5 minutes of story nursery and little time on tablet . Toilet brush teeth and lights off with her mummy. She will.not sleep at my sisters so we don’t do overnight stay anymore.

    If you are having doubts do not go on holiday withhim it’s about compromise  and he should know better. Who.is this man to make you cry . I tell you who he is ! Nobody and an insignificant individual!

    #15285 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    There is a term for something like this and it’s called gaslight ingredients so look it up on Internet and this is how a toxic relationship starts

    #15297 Report

    Mommyloveshergirl
    Participant

    Thank u everyone I didn’t go and it’s over he had ago at my child over a piece of paper and threw it at her and that did if for me no way was I having him do that to her where all good now and thanks again everyone u all really did help x

    #15300 Report

    Wanderer.
    Participant

    Bless you darling.

    This man shows red flags already. Please don’t continue with this relationship. Your children needing certain things doesn’t mean anything bad. My child is nearly 4, she has to hold my hair to sleep and be snuggled up right next to me. Others might not like it but we are fine like this.

    Stay safe and if he bothers you plz do call the non emergency police number and tell them. Xx

    #15309 Report

    Mommyloveshergirl
    Participant

    Thank u and i will x

    #15316 Report

    son70
    Participant

    Just read your posts, I’m glad it’s over, no one should make you feel like that, or throw anything in temper? at a 2 year old!  Definitely red flags, it’s not good being in a relationship with a controller.  You deserve to have your choices and parenting respected,  relationships are about compromise, not about you and yours fitting in with him and his regardless.  Good luck

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)

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